Beauty and the Weasel
by supertrip
Summary: A hideous weasel takes a beautiful young woman hostage. Based on the Disney movie "Beauty and the Beast".
1. Chapter 1

Based on the 1991 movie "Beauty and the Beast".

* * *

Prologue:

Once upon a time, a young, handsome prince lived in a gorgeous castle with his servants. The prince had everything he could ever want except one thing: talent at sports!

(The prince had brown hair and wore a red suit)

On a cold winter's night, a goth couple decided to visit the castle to take shelter from the cold, as they offered the prince a golden amulet, claiming that the amulet would make him greater than he ever was. The prince immediately accepted the offer and placed the amulet on his neck.

The goths then ran away just before the prince felt his body tingle. The prince hurried back inside towards his private room and locked himself in, screaming in pain the whole time.

As it turned out, the golden amulet was actually enchanted with a dark spell that would turn the prince and his servants into hideous animals, and the castle itself would become dark and gloomy.

(The exterior of the prince's castle turns gothic, as the goth couple smiles at the results.)

(Some paws pick up a portrait of the prince and smash it into the ground.)

The prince had now turned into a hideous weasel, and all his servants had also become ugly animals. Ashamed of his new appearance, the weasel locked himself in his room for the next month and refused to talk to his servants during that time frame.

There was only one way for the weasel to break his curse: have somebody truly fall in love with him by the time he turned 23.

As the years passed by, the weasel began to lose hope, as everyone who dared to visit his castle was immediately scared by his hideous appearance.

* * *

Author's note: I will have made radical changes to the original movie in order to avoid copyright infringement.

All characters belong to their respective owners.


	2. Chapter 2

Several long years later, in a nearby village, a young woman was walking around, going from shop to shop. She had long blonde hair and blue eyes, and wore a brown tank top and orange skirt.

In the meanwhile, two young men were looking at the young woman as she walked into the clothing shop. One was a Hispanic male with dark skin, black hair, and a goatee. He was wearing black jeans and a red button-down shirt. The other guy was overweight and blonde. He was wearing a white T-shirt with a blue maple leaf design, as well as green shorts.

"Gosh Alejandro," said the overweight guy. "Why are you so obsessed with Lindsay all of a sudden?"

"Well Owen," said the Hispanic guy in a slight Spanish accent. "I just broke up with Heather, and now I'm trying to court the second-most attractive contestant.

A few minutes later, Lindsay had just stepped out of the clothing store with several bags, when Alejandro and Owen jumped into her sight.

"Oh no, it's Jalapeno and Omar!" she said.

"Why hello Lindsay," said Alejandro. "Where are you off to on such a fine day?"

"Oh... uh, I was just buying some makeup and clothes for my wardrobe," said Lindsay. Just then, Alejandro started digging through Lindsay's shopping bags.

"Alberto, why are you looking through my bags?" asked Lindsay.

"Uh..." Alejandro paused for a second. "I just wanted to see whether you had bought anything for me."

"No way, ya dumb head!" yelled Lindsay, as she conked Alejandro on the head with her purse. she then started to run home to meet up with her father and two brothers.

* * *

As Lindsay hurried home, away from Alejandro and Owen, she heard an explosion coming from her house.

"OH NO, DAD! MICKEY! JAY!" she yelled in horror as she hurried even faster. Lindsay hurried down to the basement to see her father, Dwayne, and two brothers, Mickey and Jay, covered in soot.

Dwayne was a middle-aged man with graying blonde hair. He wore a yellow polo shirt and blue jeans. Mickey and Jay were identical twins with curly brown hair, but the difference was that Mickey wore a white helmet.

"What happened to you guys?!" gasped Lindsay.

"Well," said Jay. "Dad had a hard time preparing dinner... again."

"Do we have any leftovers?" asked Lindsay, as her father walked over to the fridge.

"Sorry sweetheart, but we're all out of food," said Dwayne. "Ee, uh... why don't we go out for dinner instead?"

"I thought we were out of money," corrected Mickey.

"Oh, I can pay with my credit card!" Lindsay offered, as she raised her wallet into the air.

"Well then, let's get in the car,"said Dwayne, as he and his chlidren headed towards the garage.

* * *

Dwayne, Lindsay, Mickey, and Jay all got into the family car and fastened their seatbelts. Since Dwayne was the only person in the house with a driver's license, he decided to drive to Friendly's for a nice fancy dinner.

Dwayne turned on the engine, and pressed a button to automatically open the garage door. Dwayne then backed out of the garage and pressed the button again, closing the garage door. He then started driving northbound on the dirt road.

"Woooooooah!" yelled Mickey and Jay, as the car kept bumping onto rocks on the dirt road.

About 20 minutes later, the car suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere.

"Hmm, must be a flat tire," Dwayne thought to himself, as he checked beneath the car. After he guessed right, Dwayne pulled out his cell phone and tried calling for a tow truck. "No reception? Now that's just great!"

Mickey and Jay then raised their hands, as if to make an offer.

"Dad," said Jay. "Can we both go into the woods to call for help?"

"All right," said Dwayne. "But be back soon."

* * *

As Mickey and Jay walked west into the dark woods, they were terrified beyond hope as they came across may of their fears.

"Aah, a spider!" yelled Mickey as he hurried with his twin.

"Oof, these branches shouldn't be so low," added Jay, as he bumped into a tree.

"Oh no, bats!" the twins yelled together.

A few minutes later, Mickey and Jay had arrived in front of a dark castle. They collapsed into the floor, exhausted from all the running.

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP US!" Mickey yelled out. "We're afraid of the dark!"

A few spiders came crawling up to the twins, as their faces turned pale with fear.

"Quick, let's go inside this castle!" Jay suggested.

"I don't know, Jay," said Mickey. "It looks pretty scary in there."

"Come on, it's our only hope to talk to someone!" Jay insisted, as he dragged his brother to the castle gates.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: In this story, I decided to make the Adversity Twins Lindsay's brothers (who were absent from the Disney adaptation), and Dwayne will portray Maurice. All because they're clumsy and/or clueless.

I tried to make as many of the Total Drama characters as close to their canon personalities as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey and Jay stood by the castle gates, waiting for someone to open them and let the twins inside. But the castle gates opened by themselves after seeing the visitors with a security camera.

The twins walked through the open gates and reached the front door of the dark castle. Jay knocked at the door.

"Hello?" he said, with fear in his voice. "Is anyone here?"

From the inside of the house, the twins could hear two voices talking to each other.

"The poor guys must have lost their way home," whispered a nasal voice.

"Shut it Larry," said a louder voice. "Maybe they'll go away.

The twins started knocking even louder.

"We're trying to find directions to Friendly's restaurant," said Mickey. "Are we at the right place?"

"Not one word, Larry," the louder voice warned. "Or I'll feed you to the master's pet sharks!"

"Just give the guts a chance, Snaptrap," said the voice now known as Larry. He walked up to the door and opened it for the twins.

The twins stood there, completely dumbfounded. There were two ugly animals at the front door. One was a gray rat, roughly the same height as the twins. The rat was wearing a white labcoat and black pants. His teeth were very chiseled. His name was Verminious Snaptrap.

The second animal was a white opossum, about half the height of the twins. The opossum was wearing glasses, a green sweater and a black bow tie. He had balding white hair and buck teeth. This was Larry.

"AAH!" screamed Jay, who pointed at Snaptrap. "GIANT RAT!"

"Um, uh..." Mickey stammered. "We've lost our way to Friendly's restaurant, and we'd like to know if any of you guys know directions to the place.

Snaptrap though for a split second and said, "NOPE! Never heard of Friendly's!" The rat held a laser gun to the twins' heads, then the opossum slapped him.

"Don't mind my brother-in-law," said Larry. "He's a big mean bully. Why don't we let you spend the night here?"

"Well," said Jay. "All right. Will we be having dinner here?"

"NO!" yelled Snaptrap. "We will starve you both to death in the dungeons!"

Snaptrap grabbed the twins by their collars and threw them inside the castle. Larry slapped him again. "You are grounded grounded grounded until further notice!" he yelled at Snaptrap. "Go to your room now!"

* * *

Larry guided the twins to the living room, where they took a seat on the couch by the fireplace. Soon afterwards, several more animals gathered by the twins' side.

A short alligator wearing a white shirt and a pink hat came by, carrying a cart of warm beverages.

"May I help you to some coffee? Hot chocolate? Tea?" the alligator offered in a Mafia accent.

"Some hot chocolate would be lovely," said Mickey. The alligator poured some hot chocolate for both twins, who started drinking slowly.

Suddenly, the couch disappeared, spilling hot chocolate over Jay's legs. "AAH, SECOND DEGREE BURNS!" he yelled.

A black mass appeared beneath Mickey and Jay. It turned into a green lizard with crooked teeth. The lizard was wearing a black powersuit. The twins were even more startled.

"Ooh, nice trick, Chameleon," said the alligator. "You just scared the living daylights out of these humans!"

"Greetings, it is I, the Chameleon!" said the Chameleon in an extremely bizarre accent. "Shapeshifter extraordinaire!"

A blue booby bird wearing a monocle, a purple coat, and a black bow tie was the next animal to meet the twins.

"Everyone here, settle down!" the bird said. "These young men have had a hard day's night, and they shouldn't be working like dogs."

"Like, I don't get the joke, Bird Brain," said the alligator.

"It's the Beatles, dear Francisco," said Bird Brain. "You probably don't know them because you've been living under a rock forever!"

Two more animals came to meet the twins. One was a blue-green frog with a plant growing on its back. The second was a little blue crocodile with red spikes on its back.

"I'd like you to meet my lovely wife, Lady Venusaur, and our son Totodile," said Francisco.

"Oh, the poor dears," said the plant frog, which the twins implied was Venusaur. "May I carry you to the visitor's bedroom"

"Yay!" said the little crocodile (Totodile), who started jumping happily. "I get to have next-door neighbors!"

* * *

In the distant darkness, Snaptrap's voice was heard communicating to an unknown character.

"Master, there are two unwanted visitors in the castle," said Snaptrap. "What should you do to them?"

"Hmm..." said an unknown British male. "Let's lock them in the dungeon."

"But master," said Snaptrap. "I already suggested that, but Larry wouldn't have any of that."

* * *

Mickey and Jay had just settled in the visitor's bedroom when they heard footsteps in the dark. The lights suddenly powered out, as the twins held onto each other for dear life.

"I know you're in there!" yelled a British accent from the outside. This made Mickey and Jay hide under the bed.

A dark shadow then broke down the door and stormed into the room. The figure sniffed around the room on all fours, and sensed human flesh beneath the bed. The human grabbed the twins, who were petrified. Mickey and Jay weren't quite sure what kind of animal this was, because they couldn't see anything at all.

"WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE TO BE INSIDE MY CASTLE?" yelled the British voice.

"Well," said Mickey. "We got lost while trying to find a repairman for our father's car, but we actually tried to find direction's to Friendly's restaurant."

"ENOUGH!" yelled the British voice. "YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!"

"B-b-but we just needed to take shelter from the dark," said Jay.

"I'LL GIVE YOU LOSERS A PLACE TO STAY!" yelled the British voice.

The figure carried the twins out of their room and carried them into the castle dungeon.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a mostly modernized version of the Disney movie.

Can you try matching the characters in this fanfic to their Beauty and the Beast counterparts?


	4. Chapter 4

By this point, Dwayne and Lindsay had finally had the tires on the car replaced. But Dwayne was growing more and more worried by the second.

"Oh, uh, Lindsay," Dwayne told his daughter. "Have you seen your brothers? It's been three hours since they left the area."

"OH MY GOSH!" said Lindsay. "Mickey and Jay probably ate at Friendly's anyways. They're probably staying at a hotel near the restaurant."

"Oh well, they'll probably be home tomorrow," said Dwayne, as he and Lindsay started driving back home.

* * *

The next morning, Alejandro and Owen decided to meet behind Lindsay's house.

"I'm going to give Lindsay the _sorpresa_ of a lifetime," said Alejandro.

"Must be her lucky day," said Owen.

The two scoundrels then hurried into a nearby field to practice for something. There Alejandro came face-to-face with a few dozen people.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said Alejandro. "I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding rehearsal. But first, I must... PROPOSE TO THE BRIDE!"

The crowd all started laughing together.

"It's your turn to make a move," Alejandro whispered into Owen's ear.

"Oh boy!" Owen started waving his hands around like a music conductor. The band started playing "Here Comes the Bride" incredibly off-key.

Alejandro took a horn and hit Owen on the head with it.

"Not yet, _idiota_!" said Alejandro, before he turned to walk back to Lindsay's house.

Inside the house, Lindsay was polishing her fingernails when she heard someone knocking on the door. She got off the couch and opened the door.

"Oh no, not you again, Alfredo!" she gasped.

"Yes, it is me again!" said Alejandro. "And now I've made you an offer you can't refuse!"

"What is it?" asked Lindsay, excited.

"Today... is the day your wildest dreams will come true," said Alejandro. "Picture this. A log cabin with animal heads mounted on my walls, my lovely wife giving me a massage, while the children play with the dogs. We'll have six or seven."

"That many dogs?!" gasped Lindsay.

"NO, I meant children!" Alejandro facepalmed. "And just who do you think that wife will be?"

"Uh..." said Lindsay.

"Why, you of course, Lindsay!" Alejandro grinned.

"Gee Alefonda, I don't know what to say," Lindsay wondered.

"I'm PROPOSING to you!" Alejandro explained.

Just then, Lindsay's father, Dwayne, came down the stairs and was startled.

"Hey!" he yelled. "What do you think you're doing in my house, intruder?!"

"AAH!" Alejandro yelled as he hurried out the front door asnd fell face-first into the mud. The band kept on playing "Here Comes the Bride" as Owen walked up to Alejandro.

"Don't feel down, Alejandro, old buddy," Owen assured him. "Lindsay is secretly in love with you. She probably won't openly admit it."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the castle, Mickey and Jay were still inside the dark dungeon, begging for mercy.

"I may grant you one last thing before I feed you to the sharks," said the British voice.

"I'd like a flashlight to get a better look at you," said Mickey.

"And I'd like to make a phone call to my father," said Jay.

The dark figure that captured the twins the night before stepped away from the dungeon and headed upstairs.

The figure returned a few minutes later with a cell phone and a flashlight. Mickey took the flashlight, while Jay took the phone. First, Jay dialed his father's home number, assuming that he was still home.

"Dad? You won't believe what happened to us! Someone is holding us hostage! We're at a dark castle somewhere nearby... Hold on a second, Dad." Jay turned towards his brother and asked him a favor: "Mickey, could you shine the flashlight on this person?"

Mickey turned on the flashlight, and he was scared shitless. He saw a long snout with a black nose and buck teeth.

The flashlight was so weak that Mickey still couldn't tell what animal this was. "I think this is a weasel," he guessed.

Jay resumed talking to his father. "We've been held hostage by a giant **_weasel_**! Also, the castle is somewhere northwest of the village!"

The Weasel pounced at the twins on all fours, as Jay dropped the phone onto the hay beneath him. The Weasel stretched his arm through the cell and grabbed the phone, ending the call immediately.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lindsay was at home in her room, packing for something.

"Can you imagine, he asked me to marry him. Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless...' Lindsay said to herself, then she began singing.

 _Alejandro, can't you just see it_

 _Alejandro, his little wife_

 _Not me, no sir, I guarantee it_

 _I want much more than this provincial life..._

 _I want adventure in the great wide somewhere_

 _I want it more than I can tell_

 _And for once it might be grand_

 _To have someone understand_

 _I want so much more than they've got planned_

Lindsay's father, Dwayne, was still on the phone. "Hello? Hello?!" But nobody answered, because the tone was dead. Dwayne's pupils shrunk as he became even more worried. He dashed down the stairs and hurried out the door with his daughter.

"What's up, Dad?" said Lindsay, confused.

"Something terrible has happened to your brothers!" screamed Dwayne. "We've got to go rescue them!"


	5. Chapter 5

Lindsay and Dwayne hurried into the family car and drove on the same path towards Friendly's as the night before. 20 minutes later, Dwayne pulled the brakes and looked at Lindsay.

"Um, Lindsay, which way did your brothers run last night?" Dwayne asked his daughter once he reached the place where his car broke down.

"Um," Lindsay paused for a second. "The went to the... LEFT!"

"Thanks sweetheart," said Dwayne, as he turned the engine back on and turned left.

Dwayne then started driving thee car through the woods. Branches started to hit the car's windshield, and twigs got caught inside the windshield wipers.

After forty minutes of driving through the woods, Dwayne and Lindsay finally arrived at the dark castle. Lindsay took two suitcases out of the car and carried them with her. Father and daughter then walked to the castle gates, which were locked until a security camera spotted them.

* * *

Inside the castle, a gray rat was talking to a short opossum about what had happened last night.

"Way to go, Larry, look what you've done" said the rat, who was pacing around the room. "You just couldn't keep quiet. First you let two brothers inside the castle, had them warm up by the fireplace, and now they're locked up for life. And then you slapped me!"

"But Snaptrap, I was trying to be hospitable," said the opossum (Larry). "Plus, you're always trying to feed me to the master's sharks."

* * *

The gates then opened, as Dwayne and Lindsay walked to the front door of the castle. Lindsay opened the door, which was unlocked for some reason, as she and her father walked inside the castle. But for some strange reason, the shadow of an animal was behind them the whole time.

"Quick, everybody hide!" said a deep female voice. Dwayne and Lindsay heard footsteps all around the castle, wondering what had just happened.

"Hello?" Lindsay called out. "Is anybody here? Mickey? Jay? Anyone?"

Lindsay and her father walked quietly into the living room, when the silence finally broke.

"Mom, Dad, look!" said the voice of a young boy, no older than 13. "There's a girl in the castle!"

"Ha ha ha, nonsense!" said a deep female voice. "Everytime someone tries to visit the castle, they always run away in fear."

"But what about the twins from last night?" asked a stuffy male voice.

"We made an exception to those guys," said a Mafia male voice. "They were lost and had nowhere else to stay. And now we're having them for dinner!"

A whipping noise echoed across the living room. By this point, Lindsay and Dwayne had made it into the main hallway.

"Ooh, a beautiful maiden has come into the castle to break our curse!" said a spooky male voice.

"But who's the man with her?" asked a loud male voice.

"Must be her father," said a nasal male voice. "The master told us last night that he let our guests call their dad as their final wish."

Lindsay stopped in her tracks and saw a room with a broken door.

"Dad, I'm going to check my suitcases into this lovely hotel room," she said. "I'll be back in a second."

Lindsay quickly put her suitcases onto the bed and hurried back to her father.

* * *

Now Lindsay and Dwayne were finally downstairs in the dungeon, ready to rescue Mickey and Jay. The twins were curled up on the floor of their cell.

"Mickey! Jay! Thank god you're both all right!" said Dwayne as he knelt down to his sons.

Lindsay felt her brothers' hands.

"Oh my, your hands are stone cold. You've got to break out of here!" Lindsay suggested.

"What happened to you boys?" asked Dwayne.

" _That_ happened to us," said Mickey, as he pointed to the shadowy figure that had been following their father and sister the whole time.

The power suddenly went out in the dungeon, and the only light was a beam directly above the twins. Lindsay suddenly felt something grab her shoulders. Lindsay screamed in fear.

"WHO ARE YOU TWO PEOPLE?!" said a British male voice. "AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY CASTLE?!"

"I CAME HERE WITH MY FATHER TO RESCUE MY BROTHERS!" Lindsay hollered. "CAN'T YOU TELL THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL THEM?!"

"THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED HAD THEY NOT TRESPASSED MY PROPERTY!" yelled the British voice.

"Please... I beg of you," insisted Lindsay. "I heard a voice say that you were going to eat them for dinner!"

The British voice spoke more softly. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do now. They're my prisoners."

"Hmm..." thought Lindsay. "I'd like to trade places with my brothers!"

"Oh really?!" said the British voice. "But only under one condition..."

"And what is that?" Dwayne asked the dark figure.

"Your daughter must stay here forever," said the British voice.

"Please... let me go!" Lindsay said. "I can't touch the floor!" The figure lets go of Lindsay. "Show yourself!" she said.

The figure stepped in front of the brothers, revealing its true form. It was a human-sized weasel, crawling on all fours. The weasel had tan fur, a long snout, a black nose, buck teeth, a pink hairless tail, and four paws with unclipped nails. The weasel was only wearing a purple hat and torn blue pants.

Dwayne, Mickey, and Jay immediately collapsed in fear.

"So..." said the hideous animal. "YOU'VE ALL COME TO STARE AT THE WEASEL, HAVEN'T YOU?!"

"All right, yes! My dad got a phone call from my brothers, who told him what you look like. Please don't kill me, Mr. Weasel! Just let my brothers free!" Lindsay cried.

Lindsay's father and brothers were still unconscious, so the Weasel had to call for a servant to meet him in the dungeon. It was a blue-green frog with a plant growing on its back. Vines grew out of the frog's back, which picked up the three unconscious humans.

"Please take these humans outside," said the Weasel to the frog. The frog then walked out of the dungeon, as the Weasel stood on his hind legs.

"I have you now, my pretty!" hissed the Weasel as he threw Lindsay into an empty cell.

Lindsay then started crying to herself, but she couldn't help but notice that the Weasel had a crush on her.

* * *

The Weasel then headed back to his private room, where a blue bird offered his advice.

"Um, master..." said the blue bird. "Since the girl is going to be here indefinitely, you should probably give her a more comfortable room."

"All right, all right, all right, all right," sighed the Weasel. "Sheesh!"

"And shush the sheesh," said the bird.

* * *

The Weasel stormed back into the dungeon on all fours and unlocked Lindsay's cell.

"I never got to say goodbye to my father or brothers," Lindsay sobbed.

The Weasel's anger suddenly turned into pity, as Lindsay stepped out of her cell.

"I'll show you to the visitor's bedroom," said the Weasel.

"Why thank you, Mr. Weasel!" said Lindsay, who then hugged the Weasel.

* * *

The Weasel then guided Lindsay out of the dungeon and back to the visitor's bedroom. As she headed down the hallway, Lindsay couldn't help but notice the gargoyle statues staring at her. She shuddered in fear at the sight of them.

A toothy grin appeared above the Weasel's shoulder, and whispered into the Weasel's ear. The Weasel then turned towards Belle.

"Oh, uh, I hope you like it here," said the Weasel. "The castle is your home now, and you may go anywhere in the castle..."

"WOO!" Lindsay cheered.

"Except the West Wing," hissed the Weasel. "Because there's a dark secret there!"

Lindsay then went into the bedroom, whose door was now missing, and plopped down onto the bed.

"If there's anything you need, my servants will be at your service," said the Weasel calmly. He then whistled to call for his many servants,who all hurried into Lindsay's room.

"Greetings, it is I, the Chameleon," said a green lizard.

"My name is Bird Brain," said a blue bird.

"The name's Verminious Snaptrap," said a gray rat.

"I'm Larry," said a short opossum.

"Yeah, I'm Francisco," said a short alligator.

"I'm Lady Venusaur," said a blue-green frog.

"AND I'M TOTODILE!" cheered a blue crocodile.

"Wha-wha-what?!" said Lindsay in disbelief. "I didn't know that animals could talk!"

"It's a long story," sighed Francisco. "We all used to be humans, but now thanks to a nasty curse, we must spend the rest of our lives as animals.

A purple ghost appeared from out of nowhere, and its toothy grin caught Lindsay off-guard. "HELLO, I AM IAN WATKINS!" said the ghost. "KEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!"

Suddenly, Lindsay heard someone knocking from the inside of the closet. She hurried over and opened the door. Inside was an overweight young woman with brown hair. She wore a pink bow, a pink jacket, and purple pants.

"HEY! WHY IS THERE ANOTHER HUMAN IN THE CASTLE?!" said Lindsay.

"Did you know that I inherited my immunity to magic from my great-great-great-great-grandfather?" said the young woman.

"And that's Staci,' said Snaptrap. "We all got so annoyed with her so-called family that we locked her in the closet a few days ago.

"And those AREN'T our real names!" smiled Ian Watkins. "Except for me and Staci."


	6. Chapter 6

Soon afterwards, Mickey, Jay, and Dwayne had regained consciousness on the cold hard ground.

"Where are we?" asked Jay.

"I think we're right outside the castle," said Mickey.

"The last thing I remember," added Dwayne. "Was the sight of a giant weasel stepping into the light."

"Oh god, that weasel shouldn't eat Lindsay alive!" Mickey worried.

"Get in the car!" said Dwayne. "We've got to warn the villagers about the Weasel!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the village tavern, Alejandro and Owen were talking to several locals. This included a bald boy in a yellow shirt, a red-haired girl in a blue dress, a woman in a red sweater, a man in a green sweater, a Hispanic girl wearing a backpack, a Hispanic woman in a purple dress, a Hispanic man in a blue shirt, an old Hispanic woman in a yellow dress, a short Filipino guy wearing hip-hop clothes, an overweight Filipino guy, a middle-aged Filipino man, a robotic monkey, a brown-haired girl in a green beanie, and a transsexual prostitute. They were Caillou's family, Dora the Explorer's family, and the main cast of "The Nutshack".

"Who does Lindsay think the is?!" groaned Alejandro. "That girl has messed with the wrong _hombre!_ No one says 'No' to Alejandro!"

"Heh heh, yeah!" laughed Owen.

"I've been dismissed, rejected, shunned, humiliated..." Alejandro ranted. "This is more than unbearable!" He hurried to the corner of the tavern.

"Aw... don't feel down, Alejandro, old buddy," said Owen. "I got you some more beer!"

" _No gracias_ ," said Alejandro. "Nothing will help me get out of this rut."

"Hmm..." Owen thought to himself. "Will a song make you feel better?"

Music started playing in the background, as the villagers all started singing and dancing around Alejandro.

 **CHITA:** _I know that we are young,_  
 _And I know that you may love me,_  
 _But I just can't be with you like this anymore,_  
 _Alejandro_

 **OWEN:** _She's got both hands_  
 _In her pocket_  
 _And she won't look at you_  
 _Won't look at you_

 **ABUELA:** _She hides true love_  
 _En su bolsillo_  
 _She got a halo around her finger_  
 _Around you_

 **CHERRY PIE:** _You know that I love you boy_  
 _Hot like Mexico, rejoice_  
 _At this point I gotta choose_  
 _Nothing to lose_

 **DORA:** _Don't call my name_  
 _Don't call my name, Alejandro_  
 _I'm not your babe_  
 _I'm not your babe, Fernando_

 **CAILLOU:** _Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch_  
 _Just smoke my cigarette and hush_  
 _Don't call my name_  
 _Don't call my name, Roberto_

 **EVERYONE:** _Alejandro_  
 _Alejandro_  
 _Ale-ale-jandro_  
 _Ale-ale-jandro_

 _Alejandro_  
 _Alejandro_  
 _Ale-ale-jandro_  
 _Ale-ale-jandro_

Just then, the music stopped, as three people burst through the door. Everyone in the tavern stared at them, while Alejandro walked away from his corner.

"Well, well, well," said Alejandro. "If it isn't crazy old Dwayne and his two sons."

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US!" Mickey begged for mercy.

"HE'S GOT HER LOCKED UP IN A DUNGEON!" screamed Dwayne.

"Who's locked whom up in a dungeon?" asked Dora's Papi.

"HE'S GOT LINDSAY!" hollered Jay.

"And who got her locked up?" asked Owen.

"A HORRIBLE, MONSTROUS WEASEL!" screamed Dwayne, as he and his sons hurried around the tavern, telling the other patrons about what had happened to Lindsay. And everyone stared at Lindsay's relatived in disbelief.

"How big was this weasel?" asked Dora's mom.

"Uh, I don't know, five, six, no! Seven feet tall!" said Jay.

"With a long, ugly snout?" asked Tito Dick.

"A hideously crooked snout!" said Mickey.

"Did the Weasel have sharp, cruel fangs?" asked Caillou's dad.

"NO! HE HAD BUCK TEETH!" screamed Dwayne.

"Please, will any of you people help us?" asked Jay. "Our sister is in danger, and the weasel will eat her alive for dinner!"

The room fell into dead silence, then everyone laughed louder than ever. Owen laughed so hard that his stomach started to rumble.

"Uh-oh, I forgot to eat my dinner!" he said in a sing-song voice, as he hurried out of the tavern and towards the all-you-can-eat buffet across the street.

"Whoa, slow down, Dwayne," chuckled Alejandro. "We'll help you out."

"Why, thank you!" said Dwayne. Phil, Jack, and Dora's dad picked him and the twins up, and threw them outside onto the pavement. Alejandro got out of his corner and started dancing and singing to a different song.

 _I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love_  
 _Love's going to leave me_

Alejandro began to unbutton his shirt.

 _I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt_  
 _So sexy it hurts_  
 _And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan_  
 _New York and Japan_  
 _And I'm too sexy for your party_  
 _Too sexy for your party_  
 _No way I'm disco dancing_

 _I'm a model you know what I mean_  
 _And I do my little turn on the catwalk_  
 _Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_  
 _I do my little turn on the catwalk_

 _I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car_  
 _Too sexy by far_  
 _I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love_  
 _Love's going to leave me_

 _And I'm too sexy for this song_

Owen then returned from the buffet to the tavern, and shrugged. "Dude, put your shirt back on," he said.

Back outside, Mickey, Jay, and their father were lying on their backs.

"WILL NO ONE HELP US?!" yelled Dwayne.


	7. Chapter 7

Back at the castle, Lindsay was in her room, sitting on her bed while talking to Staci.

"Did you know that my second cousins, five times removed, placed a curse on this castle many years ago?" said Staci. "Legend has it that they still live inside the castle."

"Ooh, I'd like to hear more about your family, Sasha!" said Lindsay.

A faint noise was coming from the hallway, but Staci suspected that something terrible would happen.

"Uh-oh!" said Staci. She then hurried back to the closet and locked herself inside.

Outside the room, Lindsay could hear the sound of small wheels rubbing onto the ground. It was the Weasel, who was standing on his hind legs on a skateboard.

"Yo," said the Weasel. "I'm inviting you to have dinner tonight. And that's not a request!" He then skated away.

Lindsay then started to break down crying. She couldn't stand to date this ugly animal, even if he probably had a secret crush on her. Soon afterwards, Lindsay saw a vine tap her on the shoulder. The vine was coming from the outside of her bedroom.

"Come in..." cried Lindsay. Lady Venusaur stomped into the room with her son Totodile, carrying a cart full of beverages.

"Hello there, Lindsay dear," said Lady Venusaur. "Would you like some freshly brewed tea?"

"Why, that would be heavenly!" said Lindsay, who wiped a tear from her eye. Lady Venusaur then poured some hot tea from a pitcher into a cup.

"Would you like any sugar or cream?" asked Totodile.

"Just one cube," said Lindsay, as Totodile placed a sugarcube into the teacup. He then handed the cup to Lindsay, who then started to sip the tea. "Now, tell me a little bit more about this 'curse'. Why is everyone here a talking animal except for Closet Lady?"

"Well, I don't clearly remember what happened, but I'll try to tell you the basics," said Lady Venusaur. "It all happened about seven years ago. We all got turned into freaks of nature, but the master had it the worst. As a result of our curse, we all forgot our original names and had to take new ones. But somehow, Staci from the closet seemed to be immune to the curse."

"Can't you at least tell us your real names?" asked Lindsay. Staci peeked out of the closet to make sure the coast was clear.

"Did you know that I made a deal with Ian Watkins to make sure we don't reveal everyone else's past names?" she said. "That's why everyone changed their names a few weeks into the curse."

Lady Venusaur walked over to the closet to help Staci pick out a dress for Lindsay's dinner date with the Weasel. Her vines then pulled out a bright red dress.

"Ah, you'll look lovely in my step-aunt's old prom dress!" said Staci.

"That's very nice of you, Vanessa and Sasha," said Lindsay. "But I'm not going to dinner."

"If you change your mind," said Totodile. "My mom will leave the dress on your bed." He and his mother then left Lindsay's room, only for Bird Brain to enter.

"Ahem," he coughed. "Dinner is served!"

* * *

Later on at the dining hall, the Weasel was seated with his servants. He was starting to grow impatient with Lindsay.

"WHAT'S TAKING HER SO LONG?!" he roared, banging his fist on the table. "I FORCED HER TO DINE WITH ME, BUT SHE HASN'T COME DOWN YET!"

"MASTER OLIVER!" Lady Venusaur yelled at him. "You shouldn't be so hard on the girl. She's already lost her brothers, her father, _and_ her freedom in one day."

"Eh, excuse me master," said Larry. "You do realize that this girl might be the one to reverse this curse?"

"Of course I noticed that!" said the Weasel angrily. "I'm not retarded!"

"Okay then," said Snaptrap. "You both fall in love with each other, and viola! The spell is broken!"

"You mean voila," said Larry.

"NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU, LARRY!" yelled Snaptrap.

"Even better, we'll be humans again by midnight!" added Francisco.

"True love doesn't work that way," said Lady Venusaur. "It's supposed to be gradual."

"But the amulet is starting to lose its glow!" said the Chameleon. "And once it gets dull, we're stuck as feral animals!"

"Bloody hell," sighed the Weasel. "She's so beautiful, and me, I'm so... you know, UGLY AS SIN!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Lady Venusaur assured her master. "You've got to show her more than your ugly side."

"But I don't know how," said the Weasel.

"You should try making yourself more presentable," suggested Bird Brain. "Come now, I'll get you dressed up and handsome."

* * *

Bird Brain headed to the West Wing of the castle with the Weasel, and the two looked through the Weasel's closet for some nice clothing.

"AH!" said Bird Brain. "A purple business suit! It's the most majestic color." He handed the suit to the Weasel, who hurried on all fours to his changing room. About ten minutes later, the Weasel stepped out on his hind legs, wearing his purple hat (as usual) and the suit.

"Wonderful, you look very handsome!" said Bird Brain sarcastically.

* * *

Bird Brain and the Weasel returned to the dining hall. The Weasel then sat upright instead of on all fours.

"And when the girl comes in," said Totodile. "Give her the most handsome smile you can! Come on, show me that smile."

The Weasel smiled a goofy, buck-toothed grin. Except for Lady Venusaur and Bird Brain, the servants were about to burst into laughter, but they tried their hardest not to laugh.

"But don't frighten the poor girl," said Bird Brain.

"Stay cool," said Totodile.

"But most importantly," said Larry.

"YOU MUST CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!" yelled all the servants.

Suddenly, the door creaked open. The Weasel looked to see who it was.

"Here she comes!" said Larry.

But in walked Staci.

"HEY!" said Snaptrap. "Get back in the closet! We don't want to hear about your family!"

"Um, hello," said Staci shyly. "Ya know, Lindsay told me that she's refused to come to dinner tonight."

The Weasel's patience turned into complete rage. "WHAT?!" he roared, then he hurried out of the dining hall on all fours. The servants followed their master out the door at full speed.

* * *

Back in Lindsay's room, she was still crying herself to sleep. But the Weasel's anger was about to wake her up.

"I forced you to have dinner with me!" yelled the Weasel, right into Lindsay's ear. Lindsay was extremely startled.

"But Mr. Weasel," whined Lindsay. "I told you that I wasn't hungry!"

"MASTER OLIVER!" yelled Lady Venusaur. The Weasel immediately turned towards his servants. "Yelling directly into the girl's ear is not the best way to win her affection."

"Please... try to be a gentleman," pleaded Larry.

"How can I be a gentleman," answered the Weasel. "When she's giving me such a hard time?!"

"Just try to be more gentle on her, okay?" said Totodile.

The Weasel cleared his throat. "Lindsay, would you... Uh, what's the next word?"

"It should be 'please'," said Ian Watkins.

"Would you please join me for dinner?" the Weasel asked Lindsay. "It would give me great pleasure."

"No way, ya dumb head!" said Lindsay angrily.

The Weasel pointed a clawed finger at Lindsay. "You know what, why don't you just starve?!" For some reason, Francisco looked really excited at this thought.

"Now, if you'd excuse me," said the Weasel, broken-heartedly. "I'm going to drown my sorrows by practicing my skateboarding skills." He scampered out of the room on all fours.

"That didn't go very well at all, did it?" sighed Lady Venusaur. She then turned towards Lindsay and pointed at her beverage cart. "If it makes you feel any better, I brought you a box of leftovers."

Her vines placed a carryout box onto a chair near Lindsay's bed.

"Good night, sweetheart," whispered Lady Venusaur, as she and Totodile headed back to the kitchen. The other servants returned to their designated rooms.

* * *

Back in the West Wing, the Weasel was talking to Ian Watkins, the only servant allowed there since the curse struck him.

"I ask nicely, but she refuses," sighed the Weasel. "What does she want me to do, beg?"

"I'll go check up on Lindsay," said Ian Watkins, as he floated through the walls.

"Finally, some alone time!" said the Weasel. He grabbed his skateboard and rode into his private skate park. Inside the skate park, a stereo was blasting out extreme metal as the Weasel practiced some of the sports skills that he had acquired from the curse.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Lindsay's room, Snaptrap and Larry were reinstalling the door to the room, while Staci was trying to convince Lindsay to break the curse.

"Nah, Mr. Weasel isn't really that bad once you get to know him," said Staci, unaware that a ghost was spying on her.

"But I don't want anything to do with him!" protested Lindsay. "He's nothing more than a dirty monster!"

"Keheheheheh," a voice quietly laughed. "The master will be heartbroken when he hears this!"

* * *

Author's note: Lady Venusaur is, so far, the only servant to even THINK about calling her master by his first name.


	8. Chapter 8

A few nights later, Lindsay woke up to the sight of Larry and Snaptrap arguing in the hallway.

"Oh, no!" said Larry.

"Oh, yes!" said Snaptrap.

"Oh, no!" repeated Larry.

"Oh, yes, yes, yes!" insisted Snaptrap.

"Snaptrap, you've already fed me to the sharks fifty times since the curse started!" said Larry. He turned around to see Lindsay finally stepping out of her room.

"Lindsay!" said Snaptrap. "Where have you been for so long?"

But Lindsay didn't say a word. She walked through the living room, wher Francisco was tucking his son, Totodile, into bed.

"Come on kiddo," said Francisco. "It's getting late, and it's almost bedtime."

"But Dad," insisted Totodile. "I'm not sleepy."

"Yes you are," said Francisco, as he petted his son on the forehead. Totodile then yawned and fell asleep. "Good night Totodile. Daddy loves you."

* * *

In the dining hall, the Chameleon was slaving away, preparing dinner for everyone, as Lady Venusaur and Bird Brain watched him.

"All I do is work and never play," he complained. "If only I had more ligatures to prepare dinner..."

The Chameleon disappeared into a black blob, and emerged as an octopus.

"We've all had a long week," sighed Lady Venusaur.

"If you ask me," said Bird Brain. "Lindsay was just being stubborn. But at least the master said 'please'."

"But if Master Oliver doesn't get an anger management course," protested Lady Venusaur. "He'll never be able to break the..."

But before Lady Venusaur could finish her sentence, Lindsay walked in.

"AH, if it isn't Miss Lindsay!" said Bird Brain. " _Enchanté, ma chérie_." He bowed before Lindsay and pecked at her hand, as if to kiss her.

"Well, I _am_ starting to get a little hungry," said Lindsay.

"Oh really?" said Lady Venusaur. She pressed a button on her pager to alert the other servants. "Ladies and gentlemen, Lindsay has finally come down to dinner."

Snaptrap, Larry, Staci, and Francisco all hurried into the dining hall and took their seats with Lindsay. Lady Venusaur and Bird Brain soon joined them. But for some strange reason, the Weasel never came down.

"Didn't the master say that he would starve Lindsay to death?" Larry whispered into Staci's ear.

"Yeah, I heard him loud and clear," whispered Staci. "Did you know that my ninth cousin's mother-in-law Henrietta invented starvation? Before then everyone would have to eat everything in the fridge."

"Well, let's give her a last meal before her execution!" laughed Snaptrap evilly. Larry slapped his brother-in-law in the face.

"That's not funny, Snaptrap!" said Larry. "She's not a prisoner anymore. She's our guest. We're supposed to make her feel at home."

"Keep it down, people!" hissed Lady Venusaur. "I bet Master Oliver would feed us all to the sharks if he were here right now."

Bird Brain stood up in his chair, as a small hummingbird flew onto his shoulder. "Lights out!" he commanded. "Cue the music!"

" _Ma chère mademoiselle_ ," said Bird Brain. "It is with deepest pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner."

He then began to sing and dance on the table, while shaking his big blue booby booty.

 _Be our guest_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Put our service to the test_  
 _Tie your napkin 'round your neck, ch_ _é_ _rie_  
 _And we provide the rest_

Lindsay tied a napkin onto her neck.

 _Soup du jour_  
 _Hot hors d'œuvres_  
 _Why, we only live to serve_  
 _Try the grey stuff, it's delicious_  
 _Don't believe me? Ask the dishes_

Lindsay dipped her finger into one of the appetizers and tasted it. "Mmm, it tastes like tomato," she said.

 _They can sing_  
 _They can dance_  
 _After all, Miss, this ain't France_  
 _And a dinner here is never second best_  
 _Go on, unfold your menu_  
 _Take a glance and then you'll_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Oui, our guest_  
 _Be our guest_

Some of the other servants began playing instruments as Bird Brain kept singing and dancing. Larry played the keytar, the Chameleon (who was still an octopus) played the drums, and Francisco played bass guitar. Meanwhile, Lindsay was reading the menu.

 _Beef ragout_  
 _Cheese souffl_ _é_  
 _Pie and pudding "en flamb_ _é_ _"_  
 _We'll prepare and serve with flair_  
 _A culinary cabaret_  
 _You're alone_  
 _And you're scared_  
 _But the banquet's all prepared_  
 _No one's gloomy or complaining_  
 _While the flatware's entertaining_  
 _We tell jokes_  
 _I do tricks_  
 _With my fellow candlesticks_

Bird Brain picked up some candles and started juggling them. One of the candles went flying off, hitting Snaptrap on the head.

"And it's all in perfect taste, that you can bet!" assured some of the unknown servants.

 **EVERYONE:** _Come on and lift your glass_  
 _You've won your own free pass_  
 _To be our guest_

 **BIRD BRAIN:** _If you're stressed_  
 _It's fine dining we suggest_

 **EVERYONE:** _Be our guest_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Be our guest_

Then all the servants left except for Bird Brain and his hummingbird partner. "Take it from here, Zippy!"

The female hummingbird then started singing. "I see you baby, shakin' that ass. Shakin' that ass. Shakin' that ass. I see you baby, shakin' that ass. Shakin' that ass. Shakin' that ass. All right, don't touch me!" Bird Brain facepalmed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lady Venusaur had returned to the kitchen, where she was washing the dishes and singing.

 _It's a guest_  
 _It's a guest_  
 _Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed_  
 _Wine's been poured and thank the Lord_  
 _I've had the napkins freshly pressed_  
 _With dessert_  
 _She'll want tea_  
 _And my dear that's fine with me_  
 _While the cups do their soft shoeing_  
 _I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing_  
 _I'll get warm_  
 _Piping hot_  
 _Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?_  
 _Clean it up! We want the company impressed_  
 _We've got a lot to do_  
 _Is it one lump or two_  
 _For you, our guest_

She took her tea cart, which was now loaded with desserts, and carried it back to the table. The other servants reappeared in their original seats, except Bird Brain, who was still twerking his blue ass on the table.

 **ALL:** _She's our guest_  
 _She's our guest_  
 _She's our guest_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Our command is your request_  
 _It's ten years since we had anybody here_  
 _And we're obsessed_  
 _With your meal_  
 _With your ease_  
 _Yes, indeed, we aim to please_  
 _While the candlelight's still glowing_  
 _Let us help you_  
 _We'll keep going_  
 _Course by course_  
 _One by one_  
 _'Til you shout, enough, I'm done_  
 _Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest_  
 _Tonight you'll prop your feet up_  
 _But for now, let's eat up_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Be our guest_  
 _Please, be our guest_

Bird Brain then slid forward on his knees, ending the song.

"Whoo!" cheered Lindsay. "That was wonderful!"

"Well, would you look at the time?" said Snaptrap, who looked down at his wristwatch. "It's bedtime, everyone!"

All the servants left the dining hall and headed back to their rooms, except for Snaptrap and Larry.

"But I can't go to bed yet!" whined Lindsay. "I haven't had enough time to explore this enchanted castle!"

"Wait, did you just say _enchanted_?" said Snaptrap. "It must have been Larry who told you!" He grabbed the little opossum by the collar.

"No, I, uh, heard Staci talking about how her distant cousins set this curse," said Lindsay.

In the distance, two squirrels and a rabbit were staring at Lindsay. All three of them were wearing white makeup with black eyeliner.

"Could you please let me look around the castle?" Lindsay asked Snaptrap and Larry.

"Wait, I don't think that's such a good idea," said Larry. "She shouldn't go peeking around a certain part of the castle."

"Aw, come on!" whined Lindsay. "Pretty please?!"

"Sure, let's go on our tour!" said Snaptrap. He and Larry guided Lindsay out of the dining hall.

* * *

Back in his room, the Weasel had been upset and alone for the past few days. He had heard from Ian Watkins that Lindsay would never fall in love with him.

"This is hopeless," he sighed. "I guess I'm going to sacrifice what little humanity I have left."


	9. Chapter 9

Snaptrap, Larry and Lindsay headed through the North Wing, as the Chameleon joined them.

"As you can see, the pseudo facade was stripped away to reveal a minimalist rococo design," said the Chameleon. "Note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings. This is yet another example of the neo-classic baroque period."

"As I always say, if it's not baroque, don't fix it!" laughed Snaptrap.

"Now, if I may draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the..." said Larry. Snaptrap and the Chameleon started snickering.

Lindsay pointed to a staircase heading towards a dark hallway. "What's over there?" she asked.

"Up there?" chuckled the Chameleon. "There's nothing of interest in the West Wing. Dusty, dull, very boring..."

"Oh boy, that's where the master keeps his shark tank!" yelled Snaptrap. He grabbed Larry and Lindsay by the collars and dragged them both upstairs.

"Wait, Mr. Weasel told me that the West Wing was off limits to us!" said Lindsay.

"But we haven't seen the master in a few days," said Snaptrap. "Or even Ian Watkins the Gengar. They've probably gone on vacation."

"I bet that Mr. Weasel is hiding a dark secret from all of us," said Lindsay.

"Yeah, uh..." Snaptrap was starting to sweat. "We have no idea what you're talking about."

"If he isn't hiding anything," said Lindsay. "There's no reason for him to make the West Wing off limits!"

"Uh... why don't we go somewhere else in the castle?" asked Larry. "Like the library? It's got over 60,000 titles."

Lindsay, Snaptrap, and Larry had finally made it up the stairs.

"Well... here we are!" said Snaptrap. "Welcome to the West Wing! On your left, you will see the entrance to the master's private shark tank. Ooh!"

"And over here is the master's skate park," he continued. "The master had this installed soon after the curse began."

"And over on the right is..." gulped Larry. He looked visibly worried. "The master's private chamber!"

Lindsay hurried over to the door and tried opening it, but it was locked. "Does anyone have a lockpick?" she asked. Snaptrap dug into his pocket and handed a paper clip to Lindsay. Larry waved his arms around, trying to warn Lindsay not to do anything bad, but she wouldn't listen.

"Thanks Trapsnap," said Lindsay. She bent the paper clip into a straight line and jammed it into the lock. She turned the paper clip around a few times, and the door opened.

Lindsay and the tour guides stepped inside the Weasel's lair, where she noticed a torn-up portrait. Lindsay placed her hands on the portrait to get a better look of the person. It was of a young man with brown hair. He was wearing a red jacket. Then something else caught her eye.

"Ooh, I'd love to get an amulet like this!" said Lindsay, as she noticed a golden amulet inside a jar. The amulet had a green gemstone inside it. Just as Lindsay was about to dig into the jar, she heard a heart-stopping roar coming from behind her. Snaptrap and Larry suddenly floated into the air, as a pair of blue, blood-shot eyes headed towards Lindsay.

"Well, well, well," said Larry. "Curiosity is about to kill this cat."

"WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO BREAK INTO THE WEST WING?!" roared the Weasel.

"Um... it was Snaptrap's idea! That mean bully is always trying to get me into trouble!" insisted Larry. He then asked the Weasel to let him go, and his master complied. Larry then ran off screaming.

"Snaptrap, you're going to the skark tank!" yelled the Weasel. He then noticed Lindsay, who was wearing the bright red dress that Staci had picked out for her. The Weasel's anger suddenly faded away, and his eyes turned into hearts. He then let go of Snaptrap, who hurried back to his secret lab.

"Oh my god, I think I'm in love!" he thought to himself.

"Um..." said Lindsay. "I heard Lady Vanessa call you by your first name a few times. And I think I'm gonna give you a nickname. How about Ollie?"

The Weasel let Snaptrap go, as his buck-toothed growl turned into a crooked smile. "I like the sound of that name," he said.

"Well, since I shouldn't be here, I might as well head back to my room," said Lindsay. "Good night Wally!"

* * *

In the middle of the night, Mickey and Jay were walking through the woods for some bizarre reason, when a human-sized spider came chasing after them. The spider started attacking the helpless twins as they ran for the castle.

Since it was the winter, the twins fell onto a pile of snow. The spider sunk its fangs into the twins. Just then, Ollie came running out of the castle with a laser gun.

"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?!" he pointed the laser gun at the spider. The spider slapped the gun out of Ollie's paws and started attacking him as well. The spider's fangs sunk into his left arm. The venom was strong enough to knock all three victims unconscious. The spider then worked its way to the back door of the castle.

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" yelled Francisco, who was cleaning his room of some random garbage. But then he threw an empty vending machine out the window. The vending machine, which fell from a third story window, produced a pressure of 20,000 foot-pounds, instantly crushing the spider to death.

* * *

The next morning, Mickey, Jay, and Ollie woke up in the castle's infirmary, where Lindsay was talking to Lady Venusaur.

"Are my brothers going to be okay?" asked Lindsay.

"Well, there was quite a bit of poison running through their blood, so they'll probably have to spend the next couple days in the castle," said Lady Venusaur.

Ollie just groaned, because this was the second time that Lindsay's brothers were not welcome into his castle.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Lindsay was giving Ollie a makeover in the restroom.

"Whoo, when was the last time you cleaned yourself?" she asked, as she clipped Ollie's fingernails and toenails.

"I, uh, take a bath once every two months," said Ollie.

So Lindsay turned on the bathtub, filling it with warm water. Ollie stepped into the tub. Lindsay removed his purple hat, then she rubbed shampoo and body wash over his body.

After Ollie's fur was squeaky clean, Lindsay handed him some mouthwash and a toothbrush. Ollie then started cleaning out his mouth, as his teeth became a very light yellow.

After Ollie was done brushing his teeth, he put his purple hat back on and wrapped a towel around his waist. He and Lindsay then went to his closet.

"Hmm, you can't go around the castle without a shirt on," said Lindsay. She started looking through the closet, searching for some clean clothes. She picked out a purple jacket, a light blue turtleneck sweater, and some blue jeans; and handed the clothes to Ollie. Lindsay then handed him a mirror.

"So, how do you look now?" Lindsay asked him. "Do you like my sense of fashion?"

"I look... kinda handsome now," Ollie finally smiled a genuine smile. "Thanks, Linds!"

"You're welcome Wally!" said Lindsay, who still couldn't get her captor's name right.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the village tavern, Alejandro and Owen were talking to a certain Nazi.

"I don't usually leave my bunker, but Fegelein told me that you might convince me otherwise," said Adolf Hitler. Alejandro threw a wallet full of credit cards towards Hitler. The Nazi took a card and scratched it onto his chin.

"So Hitler," said Alejandro. "I have a serious romance problem with Lindsay. Do you know any way to persuade her enough?"

"Yeah, she flat-out rejected him!" added Owen. Alejandro conked him on the head with a beer mug.

"Everyone knows that her father and brothers are batfuck insane!" said Alejandro. "They were here at the tavern a few nights ago, raving about a giant man-eating weasel that lived inside a castle!"

"But Dwayne is harmless," said Hitler.

"The point is," Alejandro facepalmed. "Belle would do anything to keep Dwayne and her brothers from getting locked up."

"Yeah, even marry him!" Owen pointed to Alejandro and chuckled. Alejandro just glared at him.

"So..." said Hitler. "You want me to throw her father and brothers into a concentration camp unless she agrees to marry you?" Owen nodded. "NOW THAT IS JUST DESPICABLE!" Hitler grinned evilly.

* * *

Back at Dwayne's house, he was growing really worried about his three children. He hadn't seen Mickey or Jay in a couple days, and Lindsay was probably still the Weasel's prisoner.

"If no one will help me," he said. "I might as well head out alone to the castle. I don't care what it takes, but I must get Lindsay out of that castle!"

He then headed outside on foot, because his car was still missing.

A few minutes later, Hitler, Alejandro, and Owen arrived at Dwayne's house. They entered the house, looking for any signs of life.

"DWAYNE? LINDSAY? MICKEY? JAY?" shouted Alejandro.

"Well, I don't think this is gonna work," chuckled Owen. Hitler then grabbed Owen by the collar and took him outside.

"They'll be back sometime," said Hitler. "And when they return, we'll be ready." He threw Owen into the snow.

"Owen, don't move an inch until anyone in Lindsay's family comes home," commanded Alejandro.

"But, but... aww, nuts!" complained Owen, as a large mound of snow fell onto his head.


	10. Chapter 10

The next day, Ollie stood on his balcony, watching Lindsay and her brothers playing in the snow. He turned towards his servants.

"I've never felt so good on the inside," Ollie told the Chameleon. "What do you think I should do for her?"

"Well, there's the usual things..." said the Chameleon. "Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep..."

"Yeah, uh, no," said Larry. "It has to be something really special. Something that might catch her interest."

Ollie then hurried outside on all fours to talk to Lindsay.

"Hey Linds," said Ollie, who stood on his hind legs and adjusted his collar. "There's a special part of the West Wing that I'd like to show you and the other servants."

Lindsay and her brothers looked at Ollie questioningly.

"Close your eyes, because it's a surprise," he said.

* * *

Back inside the castle, Ollie guided Lindsay, Francisco, Staci, Snaptrap, Larry, the Chameleon, the two squirrels, the rabbit, Zippy, Bird Brain, Lady Venusaur, Ian Watkins, Totodile, Mickey, and Jay into the West Wing. Everyone had their eyes closed except for Ollie.

Ollie waved his paw in front of everyone and opened a door into a room.

"Can I open my eyes yet?" asked Lindsay.

"No, not yet," said Ollie. He pulled a lever, which changed the layout of the room. Sunlight reflected into a room.

"Can we open our eyes yet?" asked Mickey.

"Okay, I'm ready," said Ollie. Everyone opened their eyes, revealing a skate park that looked like a city of some sort. Skateboards magically appeared in everyone's hands, with everyone now wearing helmets and pads, as a mysterious voice came from above.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO OLLIE'S PRO SKATER," said the voice.

"Hey Linds," said Ollie. "I challenge you and my servants to a skateoff!"

The two squirrels, the rabbit, Zippy, Lady Venusaur, Ian Watkins, Mickey, and Jay all decided to head back to their rooms.

"The challenge is to find the secret video tape hidden somewhere in this city," said the announcer. "The winner will get to own the skate park for the rest of their life."

Everyone crouched down in their starting positions, looking quite excited, with Ollie standing on his hind legs.

"ON YOUR MARKS... GET SET... GO!" Everyone started skating around the city, testing out the rails, buildings, halfpipes, skating bowls, quarterpipes, ramps, and other things.

Music began playing, as the skaters looked all over town for the secret video tape.

 _I've got some ounces in my pocket so what the fuck is going on fool. Would you come along we are gonna smoke a fucking fat bong, but you know back home, we do call that a "lon" but that doesn't matter as long's the damn smoke is going on and everywhere you go the smoke is going on so you better chill chill, represent the fucking skills, of the bills, of the hills of the underground pound, shit damn you know the ozone's going down. When I was walking round that corner I saw a wannabe and he was acting kinda silly to me so I said you better step away 'cause I'm here to stay._

Bird Brain was jumping on his skateboard, using it like a pogo stick.

Ollie launched very high off of a quarter pipe, landing onto the balcony of a building. He stood up and dusted himself off, then he opened the glass door.

Francisco was grinding his skateboard along the railing around the skate bowl, looking for the secret tape.

Staci held her skateboard and used it as a crowbar to break into a closed building.

 _I'm on the floor you know the score the mind is hardcore and you dance until dawn, but by next day you feel switchstance and you ain't stoppin' because you get no chance, so what you gonna do, stay true to the crew or else you going straight to the zoo. Now that's not cool when you can't get up, you gotta jump. jump straight through the thump. This is me Mel MC, I am here to represent the flow, from the microphone in a smooth tone, so you better listen, there are no pictures, and we need some more funky funky bitches to hang with us and do some blunts I love cunts to the fullest fucking silly hilly-billies. Off the sound from the crew with a flavor, I'm gonna cum, yes I'm gonna save ya._

Larry jumped right over a swimming pool and landed into a hedge.

Lindsay decided to look for a shortcut to the tape, so she hurried through a tunnel

Ian Watkins stopped for a second to check his cell phone. He then skated straight through a building and floated upwards.

 _All again. I go again until the end y'all. All again I go again with my friends._

Snaptrap and Totodile could see the secret tape in the fifth floor of an abandoned warehouse.

 _Now I'll come around when it's least expected then with some more courage you will get affected, from your head to toe, damn I'm stoned, but I don't care it ain't fair of the clear chair air. Compilate funky nations, strange vibrations. What have we done for the situation. I don't know, you have side your fucking mind, what do you wanna do except to fight for your right, uhhh. To live a good life on this planet? Because I like it, I like it like that. And I ain't going out like wack. Now ain't buying that so we have to let them roll, far away from our fucking hole. So, I gotta come I gotta save ya. I'm gonna play ya. Peace to the skater.  
_

The Chameleon turned into a giraffe and poked his neck through an open window, looking for the tape.

Ian Watkins, Lindsay, Ollie, Totodile, Snaptrap, and Staci were now at the fifth floor of the abandoned warehouse. All six of them stared at each other and started running in different directions. Snaptrap skated forwards and started looking through some boxes. Lindsay noticed that a closet was unlocked, and she skated inside to look for the tape. And there was the tape, on one of the shelves. Lindsay took the video tape and the music stopped.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LINDSAY HAS JUST FOUND THE SECRET TAPE!" said the announcer "THAT MEANS THE SKATE PARK IS NOW HERS!"

Everyone then teleported back to the entrance of the skate park. Ollie dug through his pocket and pulled out a keychain.

"The skate park is now yours for the rest of your life," Ollie congratulated Lindsay, as he placed the keychain into her hand.


	11. Chapter 11

AUTHOR'S NOTE: From now on, Ollie will be walking on his hind legs, though he will still run on all fours. It really helps that his crush on Lindsay has restored his humanity.

* * *

Later that day, as Lindsay was making her bed, Ollie walked up to her, carrying a cup of tea. He then cleared his throat.

"Hey Linds," he announced. "There's something special I'd like to show you in the library."

"Oh, I love surprises!" Lindsay clutched her hands to her chest, feeling excited.

Ollie and Lindsay headed down to the library. It was all covered in books, all surrounding the wall. There must have been around 60,000 books in the library.

"Wow, look at all these books!" Lindsay's eyes glowed. "Have you really read all of these books?"

"Yeah, uh, no," said Ollie. "Some of them are in Hungarian and Icelandic. But there's one book in particular that you might like." He climbed onto a ladder and pulled out a large book that was not properly sorted. He climbed back down and gave the book to Lindsay.

"This book will take you anywhere in the world," said Ollie. "But be careful to only use it at the right time!"

"But I thought I could never leave the castle," said Lindsay.

"I made an exception for you

* * *

The next day, Lindsay asked for all the servants to come to her room for a makeover.

"Did you know that if you have any chance to break our curse, we all have to be wearing some more clothing?" Staci poked her head out of the closet. "Shirts, pants, maybe some accessories?"

"Okay Fernando, you're first!" said Lindsay, referring to Francisco. She went to the closet to find a pair of board shorts for him. Francisco tried on the shorts and smiled nervously.

"Yeah, uh, thanks," he said sheepishly.

One by one, Lindsay started giving each of the servants some new clothes. The Chameleon took a green wizard hat and a fake beard. Lindsay applied some gothic makeup to Zippy's face. Bird Brain tried on a pair of apple bottom jeans. Lady Venusaur took a blue police uniform, complete with a hat. Ian Watkins wore a black jacket and some black jeans. Totodile excitedly put on a red baseball cap, a black hoodie, and some skinny jeans. Larry borrowed a pair of green trousers. But Snaptrap didn't look very excited with Staci and Lindsay's fashion style.

"That does it, I'm out of here!" he yelled, as he scurried back to his room.

After everyone was done putting on their new clothes (combined with their shirts from their old outfits), Lindsay handed them a mirror.

"How do you guys look?" she asked everyone.

"...Stupid," said Zippy. However, everyone else was fine with their new clothes.

* * *

Everyone soon left, as Mickey and Jay entered the room to talk to their sister.

"We've fully recovered from our spider bites," said Mickey.

"And we'd like to see Dad again," said Jay.

"Oh!" said Lindsay. "Oll... I mean, Mr. Weasel gave me this magical book that can take you anywhere in the world." Lindsay realized that her brothers might not know the Weasel's real name. She walked over to her couch and lifted a book off of the cushions. She walked back to her brothers with the book and opened it.

"We would like to see our father..." said Mickey. "Please." An image of Dwayne appeared inside the book. He was locked inside his car in the cold snow.

"OH NO!" yelled Lindsay. "HE MUST BE FREEZING TO DEATH!" The book then sucked Lindsay and her brothers inside, teleporting them to their father's car. The book also teleported with them.

Mickey, Jay, and Lindsay all appeared by their father's car. Dwayne unrolled the windows to see his three children again.

"It's nice to see you kids again," Dwayne's teeth chattered. "I've finally managed to start the motor... so let's all hurry home." He turned the keys to start the engine, and he managed to program the directions on his cell phone.

When they got home, Lindsay warmed the fireplace because her father nearly froze to death.

"If Alefonda comes for you," she said. "Lock yourselves in the attic so he can't find you." Lindsay then opened the magical book, which transported her back to the castle. But for some strange reason, the book didn't disappear with her. It stayed next to Dwayne.

* * *

Days turned into weeks, as Lindsay's affection for Ollie started to grow. One day at breakfast, Francisco poured some tea for Lindsay. But Ollie started to drink out of the kettle! Totodile though this was hilarious, but Lady Venusaur tapped Ollie's shoulder with her vine. He put down the kettle, as Lady Venusaur poured the tea back into a cup. Ollie and Lindsay then started drinking their tea properly.

 **LINDSAY:** _There's something sweet_  
 _And almost kind_  
 _But he was mean_  
 _And he was coarse and unrefined_

 _But now he's dear_  
 _And so unsure_  
 _I wonder why I didn't see it there before_

Ollie and Lindsay were outside in the snow, feeding the birds. Ollie then pointed his laser gun at the birds, and Lindsay reminded him to set it down. Lindsay then poured some birdseed into Ollie's paw. He crouched down, and a bluebird flew into his palms. Ollie then smiled excitedly.

 **OLLIE:** _She glanced this way_  
 _I thought I saw_  
 _And when we touched_  
 _She didn't shudder at my paw_  
 _No, it can't be_  
 _I'll just ignore_  
 _But then she's never looked at me that way before_

Lindsay then stepped behind a tree, watching as some more birds landed onto Ollie.

 **LINDSAY:** _New, and a bit alarming_  
 _Who'd have ever thought that this could be_  
 _True, that he's no Prince Charming_  
 _But there's something in him that I simply didn't see._

Back inside the castle, the servants watched Lindsay and Ollie play in the snow.

"...and poof! The spell is broken by midnight!" said Snaptrap excitedly.

"It isn't that easy, Snaptrap," said Larry. "This kind of relationship takes time."

"Well, who'd have thought?" said Bird Brain.

"Well, bless my soul!" said Staci.

"And who'd have known?" wondered Lady Venusaur.

"Well, who indeed?" agreed Francisco.

"And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?" said the Chameleon.

"We'll wait and see, a few days more, there may be something there that wasn't there before," the servants all sang together.

* * *

Later that day, Ollie was reading to Lindsay in the library.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife," he read a passage from _Pride and Prejudice._ Ollie paused for a second, and realized that he was finally falling in love with Lindsay!

"I'm quite wealthy," he thought to himself. "I'm single... and I really want to marry Lindsay and break this spell... Oh, bugger! I'm finally falling in love!"

The other servants poked their heads into the library.

"Yes, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before," said Totodile.

"Um, what's there?" said Zippy.

Bird Brain facepalmed in annoyance.


	12. Chapter 12

AUTHOR'S NOTE: From now on, the servants will be wearing the clothes that Lindsay picked out in Chapter 11, combined with their canon shirts (T.U.F.F. Puppy).

* * *

That night after dinner, Ollie asked Lindsay if he could sleep with her.

"Um... gee, I guess that since we're dating, it'd be okay," said Lindsay nervously. So they walked over to Lindsay's bedroom and put on their pajamas.

Ollie wore a teal T-shirt and purple boxers, while Lindsay was wearing a pink nightgown. They then got into bed, as Ollie started playing loud music from his iPhone.

 _So I love when you call unexpected_  
 _'Cause I hate when the moment's expected_  
 _So I'ma care for you, you, you_  
 _I'ma care for you, you, you, you, yeah_  
 _'Cause girl you're perfect_  
 _You're always worth it_  
 _And you deserve it_  
 _The way you work it_  
 _'Cause girl you earned it, yeah_  
 _Girl you earned it, yeah_

Meanwhile, in the room next door, Totodile was having trouble sleeping. His eyes were wide open, staring lifelessly into the abyss that was his roof.

* * *

The next day, all the servants (even the gothic squirrels and their pet rabbit) gathered in the main hall for an important meeting. They were all wearing the clothes that Lindsay had picked out for them.

"All right, you animals," said Staci. "You all know why we're here... right?"

Larry looked down at his wristwatch. "We only have 12 hours to create the most magical, spontaneous, romanti atmosphere known to human or animal," he said.

"...Or weasel!" The Chameleon chimed in, and chuckled at his comment. Everyone just stared at him.

Ian Watkins floated over, carrying his master's amulet inside a glass container.

"Right..." said Snaptrap. "If I'm not mistaken, once the amulet loses its glow, then the curse will last forever. And Lindsay has to fall in love with the master as soon as possible!" Snaptrap kept tapping on the glass container, as everyone worried that the glass might crack. Francisco thought fast and pried the amulet, glass and all, out of Snaptrap's clutch.

"Okay, so here's the deal," said Bird Brain. "Half of us will report to the West Wing. The other half will report to the East Wing. And everyone else will stay here." All the servants started running in different directions.

"Gosh, this doesn't add up," said Larry. "That adds up to more than 100% of the servants."

"NOBODY CARES, LARRY!" said Snaptrap angrily.

"Lighten up, Snaptrap," said Larry. "It's obvious that the master is falling for Lindsay."

"Why, I heard them playing sexy music overnight," said Totodile. "I just couldn't sleep!" He then collapsed and fell asleep in his mother's vines. Lady Venusaur picked up her son with her vines and started rocking him.

"Besides, they must fall in love tonight if we ever expect to be human again!" retorted Francisco.

"Ah... human again," sighed all the servants except for Staci.

"Just think of what this could mean for us!" said Larry enthusiastically.

 **CHAMELEON:** _I'll be cooking again_

 **BIRD BRAIN:** _Be good-looking again_  
 _With a mademoiselle on each arm_

Zippy and the female squirrel climbed onto Bird Brain's shoulders.

 **FRANCISCO:** _When I'm human again_  
 _Only human again_  
 _Poised and polished and gleaming with charm_

Francisco looked at himself in the mirror, and his sharp teeth sparkled.

 **LARRY:** _I'll be courting again, chic and sporting again._

 **LADY VENUSAUR:** _Which should cause several husbands alarm._

Ian Watkins dropped down from a shelf and laughed. " _I'll hop down off this shelf, and tout de suite be myself_ ," he sang.

 **EVERYONE:** _I can't wait to be human again_

Staci was in Lindsay's room, picking out some clothes for Lindsay and her master.

 **STACI** : _When you're human again, only human again_  
 _When you're knickknacks and whatnots no more_  
 _When you're human again, good and human again_  
 _O, cherie, won't it all be top drawer?_

Zippy perched herself on Staci's shoulder, while Lady Venusaur watched from a distance.

 **ZIPPY:** _I'll wear lipstick and rouge_

 **LADY VENUSAUR** : _And I won't be so huge_  
 _Why, I'll easily fit through that door_  
 _I'll exude savoir faire_  
 _I'll wear gowns, I'll have hair_  
 _It's my prayer to be human again_

Meanwhile, in the stables, Larry and Snaptrap did an "American Gothic" pose.

 **LARRY & SNAPTRAP:** _When we're human again, only human again_  
 _When the world once more starts making sense_

Various unnamed servants came rushing by, knocking Larry off the fence as he tumbled into the mud. He lifted his head up and stared at the clouds.

 **LARRY:** _I'll unwind, for a change_

 **SNAPTRAP:** _Really? That'd be strange_

 **LARRY:** _Can I help it if I'm t-t-tense?_

Back in the West Wing, Ollie was drinking some tea and listening to music on his iPhone.

 **OLLIE:** _In a shack by the sea, I'll sit back, sipping tea_  
 _Let my early retirement commence_  
 _No more ears full of wax, I'll get down to brass tacks and RELAX!_

He fell onto the floor, noticing that his amulet is almost completely dull. He then bit his nails in fear. The other servants then appeared by his side.

 **SERVANTS:** _When I'm human again!_

Later on, some unnamed servants were cleaning random rooms in the castle.

 **SERVANTS:** _So sweep the dust from the floor_  
 _Let's let some light in the room_  
 _I can feel, I can tell someone might break the spell any day now_

Larry picked up a portrait of Lindsay and pointed at her face.

 **SERVANTS:** _Shine up the brass on the door_  
 _Alert the dust pail and broom_  
 _If it all goes as planned our time may be at hand any day now_  
 _Open the shutters and let in some air_

In the kitchen, Lady Venus aur was tending to her tea kit, giving orders to the Chameleon.

 **LADY VENUSAUR:** _Put these here and put those over there_

 **CHAMELEON:** _Sweep up the years, the sadness and tears and throw them away_

Outside the castle, some dust from the brooms landed onto Snaptrap, burying him in a large pile. Inside the ballroom, some unnamed servants were decorating for a beautiful dance.

 **SERVANTS:** _We'll be human again, only human again_  
 _When the girl finally sets us all free_  
 _Cheeks a-blooming again, we're assuming again_  
 _We'll resume our long-lost joie de vivre_  
 _We'll be playing again, holidaying again_  
 _And we're praying it's ASAP_  
 _We will push, we will shove_  
 _They will both fall in love_  
 _And we'll finally be human again..._

* * *

Inside the library, Ollie was reading "Pride and Prejudice" to Lindsay.

"Nothing could be more delightful!" he read. "To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love, and very lively hopes of Mr. Bingley's heart were entertained." He placed a bookmark into the book, knelt down, took off his cap, and placed it onto his chest.

"Lindsay, there's something really important I'd really like to ask you," said Ollie. "Would you like to dance with me tonight?"

"Why, that would sound lovely, Wal.. I mean, Ollie!" Lindsay said excitedly.

* * *

Outside the castle, Snaptrap was washing the windows, using Larry as a sponge. Below him, the unnamed servants were now tending to the garden.

 **SERVANTS:** _We'll be dancing again, we'll be twirling again_  
 _We'll whirling around with such ease_  
 _When we're human again, only human again_  
 _We'll go waltzing those old one-two-threes_  
 _We'll be floating again, we'll be gliding again_  
 _Stepping, striding, as fine as you please_

Bird Brain turned on the water fountain, which was a statue of his master's weasel form.

 **SERVANTS:** _Like a real human does, I'll be all that I was_  
 _On that glorious morn, when we're finally re-born_

The scene zoomed to the top of the castle, where Staci stood on the balcony.

"STANDING ON THE ROOFTOPS, EVERYBODY SCREAM YOUR... HEART! OUT!" screamed Ian Watkins from behind Staci. He then pushed Staci off the balcony, as she started going into freefall.

"Did you know that my grandfather invented the cannonball dive?" she said. "Before then we had to bellyflop or dive head-first into the swimming pool. AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!"

She then landed into the water fountain, splashing the unnamed servants with water.

"And we're all of us human again," Bird Brain adjusted his monocle as he sang the last line.


	13. Chapter 13

Later that night, Ollie was taking a shower in his private bathroom. Since this was an important night for him, he decided to look his best for Lindsay. He stepped out of the shower and looked in the mirror. Ollie picked up a toothbrush and brushed his teeth (even his buck teeth) until they were pearly white. He then wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom.

ollie then looked inside his closet and pulled out a black tuxedo with a red bow tie. He put on the tuxedo, then he grabbed his purple cap and placed it on his head.

"Okay, I'm readier than ever," he said confidently.

Larry and Bird Brain came to look at their master's outfit.

"Wow, master!" said Larry. "You haven't looked this handsome since before the curse!"

"It's going to be a very romantic night!" added Bird Brain. "Music, dancing, candlelights, and when the time is right... you just have to proclaim your love for the girl!"

"Yeah, about that..." said Ollie as he tugged at his bow tie. "I think Lindsay knows that I have a crush on her. But now I think it's more than that..."

"So, you _do_ care for the girl, right?" asked Larry.

"More than anything or anyone in the world," said Ollie.

"Then why don't you tell her?" Bird Brain urged his master.

The two servants then guided Ollie towards the ballroom.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lindsay was in her room, getting fashion advice from Staci.

"Ah! I inherited this lovely dress from my cousin's husband's aunt," she said as she pulled out a gorgeous red ball gown. Lindsay then put on the gown, and looked amazed at how beautiful she looked.

Lady Venusaur came by to check up on Lindsay.

"Hello Lindsay," Lady Venusaur cleared her throat. "Master Oliver is waiting for you."

She, Francisco, and their son Totodile guided Lindsay to the ballroom.

* * *

All the servants watched from the dancefloor, as Lindsay walked down the stairs and stopped at the middle. The gothic squirrels both looked noticeably shocked throughout the whole scene.

Ollie could feel his heart race at the sight of Lindsay's long, blonde hair and her red ball gown. Snaptrap tapped him on the shoulder. Ollie then cleared his throat and walked down the stairs to meet the girl of his dreams. Ollie met Lindsay halfway down the stairs; she curtsied, and he bowed.

 _Histoire éternelle_  
 _Qu'on ne croit jamais_

Ollie and Lindsay then walked arm-in-arm. The Chameleon met up with Lindsay and Ollie at the bottom of the staircase. Ollie looked startled for a second, but he kept on walking with Lindsay.

 _De deux inconnus_  
 _Qu'un geste imprévu_  
 _Rapproche en secret_

Ollie and Lindsay were now having a fancy dinner together. For some reason, the Chameleon forgot to realize that his master and the girl would be the only people eating tonight. Which is why the table was completely stacked with food.

"That's all right," he sighed. "We the servants will have the leftovers."

Ollie started drinking some tea, but he was more focused on Lindsay's beautiful body. His eyes turned into hearts, as he watched Lindsay eat her dinner. Afterwards, Lindsay held onto Ollie's paws and guided him to the dancefloor.

 _Et soudain se pose_  
 _Sur leur coeur en fête_  
 _Un papillon rose_  
 _Un rien, pas grand chose_  
 _Une fleur offerte_

The ballroom was probably the most beautiful room in the castle. It was decorated with crystal chandeliers, red and purple curtains, and a ceiling that could show all the stars. Lindsay got into a dancing pose, wrapping her fingers into Ollie's.

"May I have this dance, my lady?" Ollie asked.

"But of course, Ollie!" said Lindsay, and the two of them began to dance a waltz. In the distance, Larry was playing the piano, while Bird Brain strummed an acoustic guitar.

 _Rien ne se ressemble_  
 _Rien n'est plus pareil_  
 _Mais comment savoir_  
 _La peur envolée_  
 _Que l'on s'est trompé_

Shortly afterwards, Ollie started to feel more confident in his dancing skills. He cracked his knuckles as he looked down at his paws (feet). He then offered to lead the dance now, feeling mesmerized by the beautiful lights.

"Do you know who's singing this?" asked Lindsay. "I've never heard her voice before."

"Oh, that must be the castle decorator," said Ollie. "I never really got a chance to meet her. Don't know what she looks like."

 _Chanson éternelle_  
 _Aux refrains fanés_  
 _C'est vrai, c'est étrange_  
 _De voir comme on change_  
 _Sans même y penser_

Everyone looked excited with Ollie and Lindsay's romance. Totodile started jumping in excitement, while everyone else's eyes glowed.

 _Tout comme les étoiles_  
 _S'éteignent en cachette_  
 _L'histoire éternelle_  
 _Touche de son aile_  
 _La Belle et la Belette_

The lights began to dim, as the waltz slowed to a halt.

 _L'histoire éternelle_  
 _Touche de son aile_  
 _La Belle et la Belette_

Zippy stopped fluttering her wings, as she fell onto Bird Brain's lap, fast asleep. The blue booby bird set down his guitar and petted her. "Good night my love," he whispered.

Lindsay and Ollie then headed out to the balcony.

"Okay..." said Ian Watkins. "I didn't understand a goddamn word in that song."

"Is anyone here fluent in French?" Lady Venusaur called out for an answer.

"Honey, I think the master is fluent," said Francisco. "But he needs some alone time with the girl." And all the servants returned to their personal rooms.

* * *

Out on the balcony, Lindsay sat with Ollie, staring at the dark blue sky. The stars looked like diamonds that night. Lindsay thought that Ollie almost looked handsome in his tuxedo. The Weasel placed his paws into Lindsay's hands.

"Linds..." he started to sweat nervously. "Are you happy here in the castle?"

"Oh, I've had the most wonderful time in this castle!" Lindsay cheered. "You're a real sweetheart, Ollie! And so are your servants! Barry, Trapsnap, Brain Bird, Lady Vanessa, Staci, Ivan Watson, Fernando, Totodile, Zippy, Camille, the squirrels, the bunny..."

Her joy suddenly disappeared, and Ollie grew very concerned.

"What is it, Linds?" he wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Is there something wrong?"

"I'm really starting to grow homesick, and I'd like to see my dad and brothers again," Lindsay admitted.

Ollie dug into his pocket and pulled out an iPhone. "I'll put you on Facetime with your father," he said. "But I'll need you to tell me his number."

Lindsay told Ollie her father's cell phone number, as a dialtone began to play. Several seconds later, Ollie saw a gray-haired man on the other line. The man began to freak out.

"Sir, you don't need to fear me," Ollie assured Dwayne. "Look, I've got a hideous snout and goofy buck teeth, but I've really become a polite weasel. I can assure you that your daughter is safe."

And to prove his point, Ollie handed his cell phone to Lindsay. "Hi Dad!" she waved.

"Lindsay, sweetie, I'm so glad you're safe," said Dwayne. "Your mother would have been proud of how beautiful you look tonight."

"What's up with you, Mickey, and Jay?"

"Well... I've got some terrible news. Alejandro might be after us!"

"Oh no!" Lindsay gasped as she handed the phone to Ollie. "I must leave the castle!"

"Lindsay... I'm really sorry for taking your brothers hostage a few months ago, and I never intended for them to be my prisoners," he said. "I am releasing you once and for all." A teardrop formed in his eye. "You are the nicest person I have ever met. And if it wasn't for you, I would have gone feral by now." He quickly hugged Lindsay goodbye, as he stared at his amulet, which was almost completely dull by now.

* * *

Lindsay hurried back to her room, threw off her gown, and put on her normal clothes: a red tank top, an orange skirt, brown cowboy boots, and a blue bandana. As she began packing her bags, the two gothic squirrels and a rabbit perched themselves on Lindsay's shoulders. The male was wearing a red shirt and black jeans, while the female wore a black minidress. The bunny was just a normal rabbit, except for the fact that he wore gothic makeup.

"Hello, little squirrels," she groaned. "I'm not in the mood to talk. I've got to hurry back home!"

"We know a surefire way to break the curse," said the female squirrel monotonously.

"All you have to do is bring us along, and we'll give you directions," said the male squirrel monotonously.

"Okay then," Lindsay finished packing her suitcases and dashed out the castle door with them. The squirrels and the rabbit then hid themselves inside Lindsay's backpack, because it was going to be a long night.

* * *

Back on the balcony, Totodile, Ian Watkins and Staci came to talk to Ollie.

"Master," said Totodile. "Everything went great tonight!" He paused for a second. "Don't tell my mom that I snuck out of my room," he whispered to himself.

"I knew you could do it!" said Ian Watkins. He then gave a menacing grin towards Totodile.

The three servants' faces looked petrified.

"BUT WHY?!" yelled Staci.

"Because... I love her," admitted Ollie. "If you don't mind, I'm going to drown my sorrows by skateboarding." He walked away, sulking his head.

* * *

Totodile burst into the library, where most of the other servants were reading quietly.

"AAH!" he yelled.

"Shh!" whispered Bird Brain. "This is a library!"

"Oh right," whispered Totodile. "I've got some terrible news. The master has finally set Lindsay free."

"He WHAT!?" yelled Snaptrap. Larry slapped his brother-in-law for not lowering his voice.

"Yeah, I'm afraid it's true," mumbled Totodile.

The servants all looked shocked.

"Seriously, son? She's leaving for good?!" gasped Francisco.

"But he was _this_ close," added Bird Brain.

"It took quite a few years for Master Oliver to find his true love," said Lady Venusaur. "And I'm so proud of him!"

"Aha, that's the ticket!" said the Chameleon. "That should be enough to break the spell!"

"I'm afraid that won't be enough," muttered Lady Venusaur. "The girl needs to love him back!"

"...and now it's too late, Mom," sighed Totodile.

* * *

Ollie was in his private skate park, wearing a purple helmet, pads, a purple jacket, and jean shorts. After he attempted to land a 900-degree gazelle (in which the skateboard rotates backside for 900 degrees, then the skater starts rotating with the board after the 180-degree mark). Ollie managed to do a whole 360 with his body, then he landed on his backside, roaring in pain extremely loudly. The roar was so deep, fearsome, and loud that nobody would have imagined that it would have come from a skinny weasel with a higher-pitched British accent.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I really didn't want to ruin the rhyme in "Beauty and the Beast", which is why I am using the French version. I took French lessons for many years and I still remember most of it.


	14. Chapter 14

Back at Lindsay's home, Owen was still spying on Dwayne and his sons. It's not entirely clear how he survived staying in the same spot for a few months, because his feet would have given in and he'd die of hypothermia. Allegedly Alejandro provided him with a table full of food, as well as a chair once the snow cleared.

"Ooh, ooh!" Owen started to look excited. "Alejandro... I smell something fishy!"

"What is it, Owen?" Alejandro came over running to Owen.

"I saw Dwayne making a suspicious phone call to Lindsay last night," explained Owen. "I got a quick glimpse of the Weasel's face, and BOY, is he ugly! We need to make him as fat as me!"

"Oh, _mira_!" said Alejandro, who spotted a figure running from the distance. "That must be Lindsay."

And indeed it was Lindsay. She was hurrying down the dirt road with two suitcases, trying to meet up with her family. "Dad! Mickey and Jay! I'm coming home for good!" she yelled from afar.

Once Lindsay came to the front door, she pried it open, locked the door behind her, hurried upstairs to her room, and set her suitcases on her bed. She then rushed to the attic to meet up with her father and brothers.

"Lindsay?" asked Mickey faintly. "Is it really you?"

"Yes, free at last!" whispered Lindsay.

Tears of joy streamed down Jay's face. "We missed you so much," he cried.

"H-how did you escape?" stammered Dwayne. "From that terrible weasel?"

"I didn't run away from the castle," chuckled Lindsay. "Ollie set me free."

"So _that's_ the Weasel's name," said Mickey.

"Has... Ollie..." Dwayne gulped. "Finally given up on his evil ways?"

"Well Dad," said Lindsay. "He was mean to me and my brothers when I first met him. But something about him has changed for the better."

"He tried to save us from a giant spider with his laser gun," added Jay. "But the three of us got poisoned unconscious, which is why we spent a few more days in the castle."

Just then, two gothic squirrels and a gothic rabbit poked their heads out of Lindsay's backpack.

"Hello," said the female squirrel, who was wearing a black and white wig. "I'm Crimson, and that's Ennui."

"We have a dark secret to tell you guys," said Ennui, who had a pierced chin. "We're the ones who set the curse on the haunted castle."

"In order to keep our identities a secret," explained Crimson. "We disguised ourselves as squirrels so that the Weasel would mistake us for his servants. AND IT WORKED!"

"We turned a handsome, friendly prince into a hideous, bitter weasel as a prank," added Ennui. "We told him that an amulet would make him better at sports, but we failed to warn him about its side effect."

"Holy crap, the Weasel was a prince?!" gasped Dwayne.

"Well duh," said Jay. "Aren't princes supposed to live in castles?"

"All that Lindsay has to do..." said Crimson. "Is for her to proclaim her true love to the Weasel. That will destroy the amulet and break the curse."

Dwayne then hugged his three children, showing that he was sorry for misunderstanding Ollie's true nature. But the joy faded away almost instantly, as the family could hear a loud knock on the door.

"We've got to see who's there!" Lindsay urged her father and brothers. The two squirrels also hurried after them as everyone zipped to the front door.

"Hello?" said Lindsay as she stared through the peephole.

"SIEG HEIL!" yelled a certain Nazi dictator. "I've come for your brothers _and_ your father."

"W-w-what do you want to do with them?!" gasped Lindsay.

"Don't worry, miss," said Adolf Hitler. "I'll be sending them to a nice place..." Right behind Hitler was a lyft car that said "Concentration Camp".

"Well, all of us have trouble concentrating," laughed Lindsay. "Is this camp any fun?"

"NO!" yelled Dwayne. "Hitler killed millions of people in those camps!"

"Because he was a racist," added Mickey.

Lindsay's confusion then turned into anger, once she remembered one of her history classes from middle school. "We're not Jewish!" she exclaimed. "And none of us are insane enough to get locked away!"

Owen stepped forwards in disapproval. "I beg to differ, Lindsay," he said. "A few months ago, your dad and brothers burst into the bar, raving like madmen." Owen turned towards an angry mob, which was composed of various Total Drama contestants, a few "T.U.F.F. Puppy" characters, the main cast of "The Nutshack", Dora the Explorer's family, Lostprophets, and Caillou's family. "RIGHT, GUYS?"

"YEAH!" the multitude screamed in unison as they did the Nazi salute.

"I won't let you do this, Hitler!" Lindsay warned the Nazi. She unlocked the door, and stepped outside with her father and brothers.

"Come now, Dwayne," said Alejandro. "How tall was the Weasel again?"

"Yeah... he, um... must have been... a few heads taller than me!" stammered Dwayne. "Probably, eight or ... nine feet!"

The whole crowd roared with laughter.

"An eight-foot-tall weasel," chuckled Alejandro. "You can't get any crazier than that."

"I swear to god, our dad is telling the truth," insisted Mickey. "Uh-oh." He turned around, as Hitler told three villagers (Kelly from "Total Drama", Boris from "Caillou", and Abuela from "Dora the Explorer") to seize Lindsay's father and brothers.

"Please... let us go... I can hardly breathe..." groaned Jay, as Abuela dragged him to the Lyft car.

Alejandro walked up to Lindsay. " _Pobre_ Lindsay," he tsk'd. "It's such a shame about your family."

"You know they're not crazy, Alef... I mean, Alejandro!" snapped Lindsay. "Who's with me? Everyone on my side, please join me on my porch!"

The following villagers joined Lindsay on the porch: the major villains from "T.U.F.F. Puppy" (Caped Cod, Meerkat, Jack Rabbit, Leather Teddy, Sharing Moose, Quacky the Duck), Dora the Explorer's family, and a few "Total Drama" contestants (Beth, Leshawna, Brody, Bridgette, Sanders, Carrie, Tammy).

"I might clear up this misunderstanding," proposed Alejandro. "If and only if..."

"If what?" asked Lindsay.

"If you marry me, of course!" shouted Alejandro.

"No way, ya dumb head!" yelled Lindsay.

"Have it your way then," Alejandro slowly walked away to recruit his army: Caillou's family, the agents of T.U.F.F. (Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Chief, Keswick), a few "Total Drama" contestants (Heather, Izzy, Noah, Courtney, Taylor, Kelly, Laurie, Amy), Lostprophets, and the main cast of "The Nutshack".

Lindsay and her followers hurried inside her house to grab the magical book that she accidentally left behind. She opened the book and asked for it to teleport her army (except Lindsay herself) to the inside of Ollie's castle. Lindsay then dashed back out the door.

"My dad and my brothers aren't crazy, and I can prove it!" she yelled to the angry mob. Lindsay then opened the book. "Show them the Weasel!"

The pages revealed Ollie, who was cringing and roaring in pain after falling off his skateboard. The mob oohed and aahed at the sight of him.

"You see, my dad and my brothers were telling the truth the whole time!" insisted Lindsay. "Hitler, you must set them free... now."

Dwayne, Jay, and Mickey stepped out of the Lyft car and ran back to Lindsay. She hugged all of them, as they stood by her side. Hitler then drove away and returned to his bunker.

"Is the Weasel dangerous?" said Caillou.

"No way!" Lindsay assured the crowd. "He wouldn't hurt anyone. Ollie may look ugly with that crooked snout, but he's really a sweetheart and a gentleman. He might even be my best friend."

"If I didn't know any better," frowned Alejandro jealously. "I'd think you had feelings for this _monster_."

Lindsay started to blush with anger, closing the book. "He's not the monster, Alejandro... YOU are!"

Alejandro was furious. Nobody had ever dared to call him a monster, what with his handsome looks. "She's just as crazy as her father and brothers!" He held up a torch and yelled to his followers. "The Weasel will make out with your children in the night!" Most of the adults vomited onto the floor. "He'll come after them in the night!"

"No!" gasped Lindsay.

"None of us will be safe until we have that weasel's head mounted on my wall!" commanded Alejandro. "I say we KILL the Weasel!" The angry mob all yelled in agreement.

Lindsay didn't know what to do. She had to think fast before Alejandro caught her. She opened her book and whispered for her to teleport to the castle. She then disappeared inside the book's pages.

* * *

"We're not safe until he's dead!" yelled Noah.

"He'll come stalking us at night!" yelled Caillou's dad.

"Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite!" yelled Izzy.

"He'll wreak havoc on our village if we let him wander free," added Heather.

"So it's time to take some action, guys!" sang Alejandro. "It's time to follow me!"

And so Alejandro's angry mob marched to the northwest, carrying their torches and pitchforks raised to the sky.


	15. Chapter 15

Inside the castle, Lindsay gathered her father, her brothers, all the servants, the major villains from "T.U.F.F. Puppy" (Caped Cod, Meerkat, Jack Rabbit, Leather Teddy, Sharing Moose, Quacky the Duck), Dora the Explorer's family, and a few "Total Drama" contestants (Beth, Leshawna, Brody, Bridgette, Sanders, Carrie, Tammy) for a massive group meeting. But for some reason, some of the servants thought the humans were kinda hot.

"OH NOES!" she yelled. "A guy from the village wanted to marry me, and then I said no, and now he's going to kill the Weasel, Ollie, for good!"

Brody and the Meerkat stared at Lindsay, confused.

"Dudette, tell us a little more about this plan of yours," said Brody.

"Well," said Lindsay. "Ollie has a secret skate park in the West Wing of the castle."

"And it's right next to the shark tank!" yelled Snaptrap.

"Lindsay, may I suggest a plot?" offered the Chameleon. "We the servants shall all disguise ourselves as humans!"

"Decked out with skateboards?!" added Brody. "SWEET! It's like a surfboard... on wheels!"

"But what about the angry mob?" worried Dwayne. "They tried to send me and your brothers to a death camp!"

"If anyone sees fire, or once they break down the door," added Bird Brain. "ALL HELL SHALL BREAK LOOSE!" he then laughed maniacally.

Larry turned around, noticing that an extremely important person was missing. "Hey," he stuttered. "Where's the master?"

"The Mrs. is tending to his injury in the hospital," explained Francisco. "There was a really loud roar coming from the West Wing a few minutes ago, but I think the master feels all better now."

"I really don't want to see the angry mob kill Ollie," said Lindsay. "That big dumb meanie Alejandro doesn't understand how much Ollie means to me."

All the while long, Totodile was taking note of all of the ideas, adjusting his cap once his brow began to sweat. "Okay," he began to read from a notepad. "We all hurry into the West Wing and grab our skateboards before the master catches us. Then the Chameleon turns the animals into humans..."

"Temporarily," coughed Mickey.

Totodile then continued reading. "Then we all hide in random parts of the castle. Once the angry mob breaks in, or notices us, we call our attacks."

* * *

So everybody hurried to the skate park that Lindsay won, quietly making sure that the Weasel wouldn't catch the intruders again. Once Lindsay and her followers stepped into the skate park, everyone was now wearing helmets and pads, as well as holding a skateboard.

"I think I'm a little too old for this," said Dwayne.

Everyone carried their boards out of the room and dashed towards the library.

"Show me your human transformation spell, lizard boy!" yelled Tammy, who then played her ocarina. A magical poof surrounded the animals in Lindsay's group. Those animals were now humans.

"Gosh, I haven't felt this tall in years!" said Larry.

"Well people, I think we should all hide in random places," said Lindsay, as she gave walkie-talkies to each person in her group. "Barry, Trapsnap, and Lafonda; you three go to the shark tank. Staci, you stay in the closet. Tammy and Camille, you go to the kitchen. Brain Bird and Zippy, you wait in the living room. Codded Cape, Meek Rat, Jack Rabbit, Leather Freddy, Sharing Mouse, and Quacky; you all go to the dungeon. Bertha, Colonel Sanders, and Carly; you're in charge of the hallway. Dora, take your family to the And I'll take Fernando, Totodile, Dad, Mickey and Jay, Brady, and Bridgette to the ballroom."

"Seriously, Lindsay?" said Snaptrap. "You've been living with us for months, and you're still getting our names wrong!"

Lindsay noticed that two of the servants failed to show up at all. "Lady Vanessa? Ivan Watson?"

"Like I said, Lindsay," said Francisco. "The Mrs. is taking care of the master in the hospital."

"We don't really know what Ian Watkins is up to," mumbled Zippy. "I guess he just floats around, like nothing ever happened."

So everyone got on their their skateboards and hurried to their posts.

* * *

Meanwhile, Alejandro's angry mob, consisting of Owen, Caillou's family, the agents of T.U.F.F. (Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Chief, Keswick), a few "Total Drama" contestants (Heather, Izzy, Noah, Courtney, Taylor, Kelly, Laurie, Amy), Lostprophets, and the main cast of "The Nutshack", had arrived at the village limits. Some of the villagers went on horseback. A few villagers brought their swords, axes, firearms, and bows and arrows.

"We must cross through the dark and misty forest if we have any chance of getting to that castle!" Alejandro commanded his troop.

"Wait a minute," Owen raised his hand. "How did you know there was a castle within the region?!"

"My _abuelo_ remembered visiting that castle many years ago. Nobody has ever been brave enough to come back alive since then," explained Alejandro. "That is, until crazy old Dwayne came along with his equally crazy sons."

"Together we will rid the village of the Weasel!" cheered Agents Puppy and Katswell.

Alejandro pointed to his left, which guided his army through the forest. The members of Lostprophets began chopping down the trees with their axes, but the trees toppled onto _them_ , crushing them to death.

"You know, I bet the Weasel is actually Satan himself," commented Izzy.

"The end is nigh for him," smiled Caillou's dad.

"It makes us w-w-w-wonder if this Weasel r-r-r-r-really an almighty creature," stuttered Keswick.

"Once we get to the castle, we will break down the gates, force the drawbridge to open, and we will make our move!" yelled Alejandro.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Lindsay's house, two certain squirrels were sitting around with their pet rabbit, placing a phone call.

"Hello?" asked Ennui. "Is this Friendly's takeout? I'd like to place an order for two people. I'll have the chicken quesadilla and clam strips." He handed the phone to his girlfriend, Crimson.

"And I'll have the chicken salad," added Crimson. "All right, here's our credit card number." She said a set of 16 digits. "We'll see you in about an hour." She hung up the phone and turned towards Crimson.

"Are you sure that ordering Friendly's is going to help break the curse?"

"Yeah, I think we weren't really friendly with that prince at all." Ennui hurried away upstairs. There he logged onto Dwayne's computer and searched for animal transformation spells. He wrote one down on a small notepad and hurried downstairs.

"Did you hear anything interesting?" Crimson asked her boyfriend dully.

"Yeah, I think we'll have to get in the car after dinner tonight. There was an angry mob earlier, and they were all chanting 'Kill the Weasel'," explained Ennui.

* * *

By this point, Alejandro's army had finally arrived at the castle. The security camera scanned each of the angry villagers, and the villagers. The camera twitched around for a few seconds before opening the gates.

"WE'RE HERE, PEOPLE!" yelled Alejandro, as he and his followers stood before the drawbridge. Ian Watkins, the servant who was in charge of lowering the drawbridge, noticed that something was very wrong, and he hurried to the infirmary to check up on his master.

"Tyl..." he coughed.

"I told you never to call me that again!" yelled Ollie. "And can't you see I'm not in the mood to fight!?"

"Sorry... master," sighed Ian Watkins. "I have some terrible news to tell you. There's an angry mob full of villagers at the moat, and they're all chanting to kill you!"

"Whatever you do, Ian Watkins," said Lady Venusaur. "Do NOT lower that drawbridge!"

"Yes, sir and ma'am!" Ian Watkins saluted the two creatures as he floated all over the castle, warning everyone.

"INTRUDER ALERT!" he yelled a few times in various rooms. Once they heard Ian Watkins' battle cry, a few of the fighters got onto their skateboards, waiting for the worst. Others brandished their laser guns. But Snaptrap was having too much fun torturing Larry in the shark pit.

"Ratty boy," said Leshawna. "You ain't supposed to be torturing that little guy! He's on our side!"

* * *

Back at the drawbridge, Alejandro was growing really impatient. "LET'S SWIM ACROSS THIS MOAT!" he ordered, seething with rage. Everyone dove into the moat and paddled until they reached the front door of the castle.

Izzy held up a giant log in only one hand. "I shall break down this door with only one hand!" she hollered.

"We're going to have roasted weasel for dinner tonight, people!" announced Tito Dick.

Izzy swung the log around, bursting the door into smithereens. But she accidentally killed Horat and Chita with blunt force trauma.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: OH NO, Ian Watkins nearly revealed the Prince's real name!


	16. Chapter 16

Alejandro and his followers tiptoed into the castle, trying to make sure the coast was clear.

"Don't make a sound," whispered Alejandro.

The room was pitch black, so nobody could really tell who could be watching from above. But the only sound came from a deep female voice and a higher British male voice.

"There, you should get some rest in your private chamber, Master Oliver," said the deep female voice.

"Thanks, Lady Venusaur," said the British voice. "I think I'm going to get changed into some clean clothes."

The villagers' eyes all stared at each other in confusion. But Owen, ever the big oaf, yelled, "HELLO? IS ANYBODY HOME?!"

"Way to blow our cover, fatass," said Phil from the Nutshack.

A rumbling came from above.

"NOW!" yelled Ian Watkins.

The following scene proved to be complete chaos.

 _Change my pitch up_  
 _Smack my bitch up_

The first stop was the kitchen, where Tammy and the Chameleon were patiently waiting with rolling pins in their hands.

"ROLLING PIN SPELL!" commanded the Chameleon. He disappeared into nothing and hit Caillou's mom and Rosie on the head.

 _Change my pitch up_  
 _Smack my bitch up_

Caillou's family waited in the living room, where Bird Brain was standing of the stair railing for some unknown reason.

"I BELIEVE YOU CAN FLY!" Zippy urged Bird Brain. "I believe you can touch the sky!" She handed him a guitar.

"Well," gulped Bird Brain. "Here goes nothing!" He jumped down from the railing and hit Caillou on the head with a guitar as if he were Quick Draw McGraw.

"Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!" yelled Caillou's dad. "Caillou, how dare you get hit on the head with a guitar?! That's it. You are grounded grounded grounded grounded for life."

 _Change my pitch up_  
 _Smack my bitch up_

Inside the ballroom, Mickey and Jay hid beneath a potted plant to make sure that Alejandro wouldn't notice them.

Totodile began squirting water out of his mouth, flooding the room full of water. Francisco, Bridgette, and Brody pulled out their skateboards and started grinding 5-0 style. (In which the back of the board is tilted backwards.) Heather, Noah, and Courtney couldn't handle all the water and jumped out the window for some fresh air.

 _Change my pitch up_  
 _Smack my bitch up_

Inside the dungeon, the remaining Nutshack characters (Phil, Jack, and Tito Dick) got zapped by Jack Rabbit's laser gun.

 _Change my pitch up_  
 _Smack my bitch up_

Alejandro was furious. He took his remaining followers (Owen, Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, the Chief, Keswick, Taylor, and Amy) to the West Wing, where Snaptrap was patiently waiting for someone to feed to the sharks. And that someone was... all four agents from T.U.F.F.!

Larry came riding out on a shark, yelling the whole time. The shark began to maim Agents Puppy and Katswell, the Chief, and Keswick.

"I knew you could do it, Larry!" said Snaptrap sarcastically.

 _Change my pitch up_  
 _Smack my bitch up_

Owen was terrified of everything. He hurried back to the main entrance, but Staci quickly caught him.

"It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings!" Staci then began singing like a cross between Florence Foster Jenkins and Fortune Teller Baba from "Dragon Ball". She then pulled Owen into the closet and began dressing him up like a girl.

"Ooh, I feel pretty!" he said as he looked at himself in the mirror.

 _Change my pitch up_  
 _Smack my bitch up_

Lady Venusaur stormed through the castle, picking up all the intruders with her vines and throwing them out the front door.

"AND STAY OUT!" she yelled!

* * *

Back at Lindsay's house, Crimson and Ennui had just finished their dinner from Friendly's, and they recited a dark spell. The spell teleported them and their bunny back to the castle.

Meanwhile, Alejandro stayed in the West Wing, making sure that Ollie was nearby.

"HELLO?! WEASEL?! Come out, come out, wherever you are," he said in a sing-song voice. Alejandro leaned his ear onto the door to Ollie's room. Inside, Ollie was staring intently into his amulet, which was almost completely dull by now.

"Goodbye humanity," he sighed as he adjusted his hat and tugged at his collar.

"Aha!" exclaimed Alejandro. He held a sawed-off shotgun. Ollie now looked terrified as Alejandro pulled the trigger, shooting him in the chest. Ollie then roared in pain, and jumped out of the window with his laser gun. Alejandro soon followed, laughing evilly the whole time. The two landed onto the balcony.

"Get up, _maldito seas_!" commanded Alejandro, but Ollie was too weak to really move. " _Que pasa_ , Weasel? Are you too weak and kind to fight back?" He broke off a piece of the roof and threatened to hit Ollie with it.

Just then, a voice came calling from nearby. "Don't do it, Alejandro!" yelled Lindsay. She hurried back to the balcony to meet up with Ollie.

"Linds..." mumbled Ollie contently. But Alejandro didn't listen. He swung the debris towards Ollie, but the giant weasel caught it in his paw. Ollie stood up and roared into Alejandro's face. The two of them kept fighting, then Ollie decided to hide behind one of the gargoyle statues.

"This is my one last chance to win Lindsay's love," he thought to himself, as he polished his laser gun.

"You can't hide away from me forever, Weasel!" yelled Alejandro.

Just then, Lindsay came running onto the balcony. She could only watch as Ollie jumped back, threatening Alejandro at gunpoint.

"I'm sorry, bloke, but Lindsay is my girlfriend now," he snarled, smiling compassionately towards Lindsay.

"Please, I'd do anything!" Alejandro begged. "Just don't kill me!"

"Why don't you just... Get out of my castle!?" said Ollie softly. By now Alejandro was steaming with rage. He grabbed his shotgun and shot Ollie in the heart. Ollie groaned in pain as he fired the laser gun at Alejandro's feet. This destroyed the floor below him, sending him toppling over to his death.

"Oh no, Ollie!" yelled Lindsay, as the giant weasel began to bleed out. She hurried over to him, with the other servants joining her soon afterwards.

"Linds..." Ollie smiled faintly. "I'm so glad you came back one last time. I think I'm dying." He clutched his chest, as his eyes rolled backwards.

Lindsay kneeled down crying, as Ollie put out his final breath. "I love you," he whispered.

Crimson and Ennui appeared, carrying the amulet, which had now turned gray. The servants all laid down on all fours, growling like savage animals. Mickey, Jay, and Dwayne hugged Lindsay, who was now sobbing uncontrollably. However, Staci didn't seem to be affected by the curse, but even Lindsay could tell that she was upset.

"No... please, Ollie... don't die on me..." cried Lindsay. "I love you!"

A bright light surrounded Ollie, as his lifeless body lifted into the sky. His crooked snout flattened into his face, and his buck teeth disappeared. His tan fur vanished into light-colored skin. He grew some long brown hair underneath his hat. His paws turned into hands and feet, and his tail disappeared.

The newly transformed prince landed onto the ground. Lindsay wasn't quite sure that this human was the weasel that she fell in love with, but he happened to wear the same purple hat, purple jacket, and torn jeans as Ollie.

"Lindsay..." said the prince. "It's me. My real name isn't Ollie, because I chose that name after forgetting my real one sometime after the curse. My name is really... Tyler." Staci nodded in approval.

Tyler then looked down at his clothes. "I thought you would look better in purple than in red," explained Lindsay.

"Well, I think I'll ditch the purple jacket for a red one," said Tyler. "But the cap and the torn jeans are okay."

The spell then extended to all the servants, which turned them back into humans. Everyone was wearing the same outfits as their "T.U.F.F. Puppy" selves, as well as the clothes Lindsay picked out. Staci then shouted out eneryone's names as they turned back to normal.

Francisco now had blonde hair, as well as a pair of board shorts. "Geoff!"

Lady Venusaur turned into an overweight young woman wearing a blue police uniform, which Lindsay picked out. "MacArthur!"

Bird Brain now had black hair, as well as pair of green pants. "Trent!"

Zippy was now a gothic young woman. "Gwen!"

Larry now had reddish hair, stubble, and a green pair of pants to match his sweater. "Harold!"

"Hey, look at me!" yelled Totodile, who turned into a young boy with blonde hair. He was wearing a black hoodie, skinny jeans, and a backwards red cap.

"If it isn't little Junior!" said Geoff.

Ian Watkins burst onto the scene, as a young man with black hair, a black jacket, and black jeans. "I'm a human again, baby!" he yelled

Snaptrap now had a green mohawk. "Duncan!" He looked down at himself, and did not like his lab coat at all. "I think I'll switch this for a skull shirt," he thought.

And finally, the Chameleon was now wearing a green wizard's cloak. "Leonard!"

"Goodness, this must be a miracle!" gasped Mickey.

"I'd say," Jay agreed. "We would never have imagined that you all used to be humans."

"Look at what's happening to the castle," said Lindsay. "All the gothic stuff is becoming pretty!"

Crimson and Ennui then touched the amulet, causing it, and them, to disappear.

* * *

Inside the ballroom, Lindsay and Tyler were dancing together in the same clothes as their first dance together. Lindsay wore a bright red gown, while Tyler wore a purple hat, a black tuxedo, and a red bow tie. The surviving villagers all gathered in the audience, as the engaged couple danced the day away.

"Ah, sweet love," said Trent, as Gwen walked by with a feather duster. She lightly dusted his face.

"Doris, my old friend," said Duncan menacingly. "I think we should set our differences aside."

"Of course we can, gosh!" said Harold. "I just knew that Lindsay would break the master's spell."

"I beg to differ," Duncan held up a fist.

On the other side of the room, Junior, MacArthur, Geoff, Dwayne, Mickey, and Jay all watched Lindsay and Tyler dance. Dwayne began to cry tears of joy.

"Are they going to live happily ever after?" asked Mickey.

"Of course they will," Junior assured him.

 _L'histoire éternelle_  
 _Touche de son aile_  
 _La Belle et la Belette_

* * *

PROLOGUE: Lindsay and Tyler got married and lived happily ever after with two sons, Oliver and Tyler Jr.


End file.
